3. Find Out Your Partner's Idea Of Fun

It is astonishing that this even needs to be said. But apparently it does, because two-thirds of those with a partner have not discussed how much leisure time to spend together in retirement, or how much money to devote to it, according to the Merrill Lynch data.

In other words, spouses are living under the same roof, and yet have completely different notions of what retirement is going to look like. One might have dreams of a farmhouse in Tuscany, while another might want nothing more than to stay stateside to look after the grandkids.

"If you are not even talking about what you want to do, then you can't begin to put any numbers on it," says Merrill Lynch's Hutchins.

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