I think it's pretty much a waste of time to discuss how some advisor in Montana got referrals from his Cuban cigar night at his house. I think it is much more beneficial to discuss the culture that will make referrals a natural part of an advisor's process.
Advisors are locked into a rhythm of competition that almost prevents them from being different from one another. The more they try to follow the same path, the less different they become from one another. They all look alike to the public. The toughest question an advisor will ever face is, "Why should I do business with you versus another advisor?" It's hard to come up with a good answer when we don't stand apart from the crowd. The same dilemma exists for wholesalers who don't have the benefit of being number one in performance.
There is only one way to get referrals and that is to be referable. The advisor's service must be so good and his culture so unique that people want to be his clients. It's all about being different. If everybody is alike and all doing the same thing, nobody can be better than anybody else.
If you went to a new restaurant and the food was great but the service was lousy, would you recommend it to your friends? Of course not. What if a client finds that an advisor's food is great but the service is lousy? He or she will not refer the advisor to his or her friends.
As service is one way to be different, so is the ability to be understood. The advisor who can make our business understandable to someone who knows little about our business will gather more assets and get more referrals than another advisor.
In addition to service and plain speaking, passion makes someone stand out. There are other differentiators, but I'm sure you get the point.
As blogger Bill Taylor of HarvardBusinesss.org asks, "If your company went out of business tomorrow, would anybody really miss it?" Let your answer dictate your strategy.
Referrals come from the inner circle. That's where the advisor must reside.