Were their ancestors something special? Are their names on the sides of buildings? Are they proud? Or ashamed? Or fearful of falling short?

Such visitors are probably the most powerful of the lot. Make no mistake-these are not docile shades prone to accept your obvious expertise without question. This is particularly true of those with strong value systems. If Great-Great-Grandma taught her offspring that money is the root of all evil, and they, in turn, taught the same thing to theirs, it will be hard to exorcise that belief, even if survival is on the line. If her husband communicated the importance of tithing, that habit likely persisted through the generations.

Indeed, these influential ones may even prove to be your fiercest competition. By any rational measure, they may even be your greatest enemies. If you cannot overcome their objections, they can destroy your whole relationship.

Then there are those in the room who your clients are concerned about. Family and friends are obviously part of this group, but there may be others as well, such as employees, customers, networkers, stakeholders, teammates and the various beneficiaries of your clients' philanthropy. You will want to know about them, too.

Some of these silent observers can be easily identified, especially the ones who are paramount in your clients' minds. Children and parents pose a host of difficult issues. Are they healthy? Can they support themselves? Will they be all right? Is there anything special about them that is likely to cost money? These folks most certainly will be in the room.

Are there stewardship or legacy issues? Is there a succession plan? Or a business continuation plan? What happens with their transition? These people are also in the room.

Is there anything out of the ordinary about your clients? Is it a married couple with the same offspring or are there different broods? What are their aspirations for their children? What is the nature of their relationships with them? What sorts of promises have they made, implied or overt? Are their interests aligned? Do they both love all of the children alike?

If they are "special," are they going to need something more? Do the artistic geniuses need something out of the ordinary? What about the physically/mentally disadvantaged? Are the autistic savants capable of self-care? Putting aside incapacity, how about those who simply have a challenge "getting a grip," i.e. twentysomethings?   

In addition to those in the room, there are also the concerns who have yet to be in the room-the unborn, who, for the legacy- or dynasty-minded, may be a dominating concern.

Finally, the room holds all those people with an impact on your clients' money, one way or another. These include co-workers, neighbors, fellow citizens, enemies, friends, policymakers and so forth. Ultimately, they must also include society as a whole-indeed, all humans. Your clients' money and money issues must function in context with all of these. Obviously, you cannot know all there is to know about them-yet you must understand that your clients are not living their lives in a vacuum, without relationship to others. It is in money's nature to bind us all together.