5) How will you stay connected with friends who are still working?  Be sure to consider how moving or spending extended time in a distant location would impact both family relationships and friendships.

6) How will your retirement plans affect your family?  Be sure to discuss if there will be more or less visiting, what role you will play with your grandkids, and how will you communicate your plans to your family.

7) Do family, friends or organizations expect or desire any inheritances? Think about what conflicts might arise with your heirs, and if you have a blended family, how assets and possessions be divided.  

8) What thoughts, questions or concerns about retiring keep you awake at night? Whether it's running out of money, losing a loved one, or how you'll stay connected to friends, seek out professionals who can help you eliminate the stress.

9) What impact would the time, energy or cost of supporting an adult child, grandchild or parent have on your retirement budget and lifestyle? These issues are becoming all too common, so prepare by considering which family members are likely to ask you for money, move back home or move in with you. Set ground rules for the amount of money with which you can help, or how living arrangements might work.

10) What role will your physical and mental health play in your retirement? Consider what healthy habits you hope to incorporate into your retirement and what bad habits need to be monitored or curbed?  

These questions can be a great starting point for developing open and healthy communication patterns between couples. They can also serve as critical building blocks to rely upon should retirement plans change. Whether it's a stroke, car accident, or addiction, there are a myriad of things that can alter retirement. All of which make having healthy relationships as important as a traditional dollars-and-cents plan.

Hands On Or Hands Off?
In dealing with the softer side of retirement, advisors can choose to be hands on or hands off. You can facilitate a simple, hands-off approach by adding questions such as these to your financial planning forms or, once they start working with you, as a "discuss-at-home" homework assignment. This approach benefits the "quants" and left-brain oriented financial professionals because it allows them to raise client awareness, yet stay firmly rooted in the numbers, charts, and graphs.

On the other hand, the right-brain, social types of our profession can engage the client more directly by asking some of these questions during actual meeting times. Whether it's during the data-gathering phase or after you've delivered your plan recommendations, basic questions such as these can help clients see the importance of thinking beyond just the numbers and, of course, reinforce the benefit of working with a concerned/knowledgeable advisor.

Either way, some ground rules for clients are important. After all, this isn't the typical type of stuff, like "You never put the toothpaste cap back on," or "You always put the toilet paper on the wrong way."