Consider this crucial fact when working with married clients: According to a 2010 Scientific American article, “Why Women Live Longer,” women, on average, outlive men by five to six years. As a result, they are far more likely to lose a spouse than men. 

That means most women will be forced into the financial driver’s seat at some point in their lives. But will they be prepared?

According to our “Couples Retirement Study,” which analyzed the retirement and financial expectations among 808 couples in May 2013, many won’t be. 

Of couples who use a financial advisor, only 42 percent jointly interact with the advisor. In cases where one member of the couple acts as a primary contact, the husband is three times more likely to assume this role than the wife.

To be clear, this is not an issue of capability or lack of interest on the wife’s part -- only 15 percent of those surveyed indicated a lack of interest in interacting with their financial advisor. Rather, their lack of involvement is driven by their trust in their spouse to control the advisor relationship.

While all couples take on different roles in a marriage, financial planning needs to be a joint priority. And, it’s in your best interest as an advisor to get both members of a couple engaged. While our study found that eight in 10 women do not intend to fire their advisor upon their partner’s death, when reality hits and there is no relationship in place, many do. An advisor’s bond with both members of a couple can be key to bridging this gap between intent and reality.

As a trusted advisor, you may be in a position to not only strengthen but grow your relationships with clients by engaging a couple jointly. In fact, many couples reported that they were more comfortable talking to their advisors than each other about many topics, including difficult long-term planning conversations such as death and inheritance.

So how can advisors help to ensure that the wives are prepared to step into the driver’s seat? 

Here are some best practices, uncovered through our research, to ensure that your relationships are solid with both halves of the married couple.

Best Practice #1: Implement A New-Client Policy Requiring Joint Participation

Many successful advisors we interviewed use a new client policy that requires married couples to include both spouses in the planning process.

However, getting initial agreement that both spouses will be involved does not necessarily mean they will both stay involved. According to Kathy Fish, founder and president of wealth management firm Fish and Associates, once the initial planning meeting is complete, many female clients simply do not come to subsequent meetings. Her approach is to provide non-meeting environments to stay in touch, such as women-only workshops, and making impromptu calls to her married female clients.

How to get started: Consider formalizing a new-client policy by including a page in your pitch book that describes the type of communications clients should expect from you (e.g., client meetings, quarterly reports, etc.) and describe your expectations for the level of engagement by married clients. Take a few minutes in your initial client meeting to further explain why you have this policy and the benefit to your clients.

Best Practice #2: Create A Client Lifeline For The Future

Fish’s biggest success in engaging married female clients comes through the use of the “big black binder,” an old-school tactic that provides the couple with a lifeline by organizing their affairs in one easily accessible location.

Fish and her team help clients become organized and maintain their affairs well in advance of either spouse needing to track down important information, and she meets jointly with the couple to update it. The binder contains information such as a listing of all accounts and the latest statements; trust and estate documents; key contact information for all tax, legal and financial providers; the latest tax returns; and more.

How to get started: Help your clients organize life’s most important documents. If you’re not ready for a major undertaking, at least consider providing them with a checklist of key documents, information and essential contacts they should gather in a central location that a family member can easily access in a time of need.

Best Practice #3: Help Wives Find Their Voice And Share Their Feelings

Because wives are often less engaged in financial planning, they may be uncomfortable discussing their fears and goals. Sandy White, managing director of United Capital Financial Advisers, believes that the key to a great relationship with married clients is an open and ongoing dialogue.

To help women express their needs and fears freely, White uses a unique proprietary program that is part of the firm’s core planning offering, “Honest Conversations,” with her clients every 12 to 24 months. In this thought-provoking exercise, husbands and wives independently prioritize a set of color-coded cards that include pre-printed statements based on fears, commitments and happiness. Once their respective selections are made, White has clients jointly discuss their reasons and feelings about their selections.

Dana Hanson, a founding principal and the chief planning strategist at Relyea Zuckerberg Hanson, has a similar practice. She discovered that one of the best planning opportunities to engage the wife happens at preretirement. Her approach includes a mix of coaching and guidance that is never short on tough questions.

Hanson asks her married male clients questions like, “How much golf can you play before you’re bored?” and “How much time do you plan to spend with the grandchildren?” She asks her female married clients equally pointed questions such as, “What’s your vision of life now that you are both at home?” and “How are you going to fill your day with your husband?” These lifestyle questions naturally lead to important conversations about the time and money clients plan to dedicate now and into the future to their life together -- as well as their plans for their children, grandchildren and charity.

How to get started: Begin by asking your married clients open-ended questions that addresses their emotions. Whether your questions are about hopes, fears, dreams or wishes for their children or grandchildren, consider directing those questions to the wife first so that she’s not biased by her husband’s responses.

Then ask the husband these same questions. You can use this opportunity not only to act as coach to help the couple find a common ground, but also to develop a financial plan and investment strategy that’s truly customized to their needs.

By involving both spouses in all planning, financial advisors can serve as the bridge to ensure both spouses are engaged and prepared. When you serve as a trusted partner in difficult conversations, each spouse will build the skills and ability to manage financially at the point the other passes on -- and this will ensure that your client relationship endures.

Jylanne Dunne is senior vice president, practice management and consulting, at Fidelity Institutional Wealth Services.