If you want to forge a relationship with clients under the age of 48, the highly coveted Generation X and Gen Y clients, that means knowing how to talk to them. It’s more than knowing their Twitter habits. It means understanding patterns of affluent societies throughout history and how the children of those societies see themselves.

That was the message delivered by Cam Marston, the president of Generational Insights and a demographics researcher, speaking at Fidelity’s Inside Track NYC conference for advisors on October 30 in Midtown Manhattan.

According to Marston, throughout history the patterns of affluent societies are the same: In the early growth stages of such cultures, people are more focused on collaboration and teamwork and struggling together. As these societies become wealthier, however, they increasingly celebrate individuality. We’re at the mature stage of such a society, Marston posits, which means these younger, would-be financial services clients see themselves as unique and want to be approached that way.

“Every time a society goes from struggling to affluent, we see these changes,” he said. “The generations who create the affluence for a society have an ethos of ‘team,’ of ‘us.’ In our lifetime they are called the baby boomers and the matures—post-Great Depression. They have created the affluence in this nation we know today. And if you’re a baby boomer or a ‘mature’ you will probably admit that in order to become successful at what you did, you had to submit to becoming a part of the team. As a society reaches affluence, the generations raised during times of affluence over and over again take on an attitude of individuality. They don’t choose it.”

Marston said the tools of new generations might be different, yet this shift to individuality is seen repeatedly.

In such a transformation, for examples, Renaissance Florence paintings turn to portraits and away from tableaus of groups. In modern times, it means kids get ribbons for sporting events just for showing up.

And this shift in value away from the group has made its stamp on the figures of Gens X and Y, said Marston, in that their members tend to think of themselves as unique and tend to see products and services as accoutrements of the lives they’re already living.

Financial advisors wanting to talk to these groups must know that and tailor messages accordingly. In that vein, think of the advertisements that reflect what a Gen Xer's life is like today.

Chances are, though, advisors are losing these potential key clients when the wealth is transferred to them, likely because they keep talking with them as they did to the kids' parents by positioning a firm and its history, whether or not that matters to the younger targets.

There are divergences among generations, too, that advisors must get a grasp on. Gen Xers, Marston said, are much more cynical. They have seen one financial catastrophe after another and tend to live more for the moment.

Gen Xers want to research things and come back and confer with you, he says. That makes them tougher customers, always on the lookout for frauds. They like to “stalk” information. You need to let them do that research and then set a date to get back to them after they’ve done their homework. Forcing it doesn’t work.

Younger Millennial clients, meanwhile, are staying attached to their parents longer, Marston said. They are optimistic but they were frightened by the recession and tend to shy away from stocks. They also communicate differently. They want more communication, but they want it fast and tend to put technology between themselves and the outside world if they can.

“They will let your call go to voicemail," he said. In fact, they will actually sit and watch your face appear on the call screen and not answer.

Still, it’s important to get to these people. Generation Y is “due to inherit a big pile of money from their baby boomer parents,” Marston said. “And when they come in with their parents to my office, what do I say? What do I do? How do I engage them?”

Millennials are not only technophiles but they are “adult-olescent.” They are taking longer to get married and have kids and they have a much longer attachment with their parents.

“Yesterday’s baby boomers at 21 are today’s millennials at 29,” he said.

The advice for this group must be unique, Marston offered. “They want what their friends have with a unique twist. The metaphor is the tattoo in the millennial generation. I too have a tattoo. I am a part of a herd, but mine looks like this because it’s on my arm instead of my leg.”