· The timing of such a decision.
· The mother’s role and her work status.
· The generational differences that may affect the way the child is raised.
· The health-care costs for all involved.
· The long-term impact of taking Social Security early as compared to waiting for full benefits.
· Lost savings due to early retirement.
The date of the baby’s birth and the grandmother’s decision to retire or adjust her work schedule usually come within a fairly tight timeframe … overlaid with lots of emotion. Many first-time parents get serious about child care a month or two before the baby is born and, while they may have decided that the mom will return to work and will need X number of days for child care, that strategy can change the instant they meet their little bundle of joy for the first time.
It’s not uncommon for either a new mom or pop to decide late in the game that returning to work isn’t worth it. Family advocates may cheer, “Hurray for putting family first,” but where does that leave a grandma who has already put in her retirement paperwork or who has reduced her work week from five days to three?
Even if mom does return to work, the combined stress of work, new family life and increased expenses can cause young couples to pause within the first few months to reassess the tradeoffs. This can also be complicated by unexpected differences in the ways new mom and grandma feel about child rearing.
Simple differences, such as how you hold the bottle, nursing times, feeding frequency, baths, diaper care and even tummy time can add another wrinkle to the mix and quickly take the joy out of the situation, leaving grandma questioning her decision.