Carl’s Positive Solution
Carl heard about my success coaching services for financial advisors and he contacted me, telling me he really wanted to leave his career. I informed him about the Recent Life Changes research and the authors’ very important admonitions against making additional changes (such as abandoning his career or his master's program), once significant points are accumulated within a year.
In other words, Carl was already suffering because of changes that he had little control over (his dad’s death and his girlfriend breaking up with him). Making additional changes now would worsen his symptoms.
With my guidance, he began to examine the negative thinking that he was engaged in, following the death of his father and the loss of his girlfriend. Thoughts such as, “I don’t know how I can manage without my dad and girlfriend in my life,” are stress-producing thoughts, guaranteed to increase his feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. I taught him how to change his thinking patterns, a skill which I will address in subsequent articles.
Carl reluctantly stayed on his job and continued his studies. After three months, he was feeling much better, and recognized that although life throws us many unexpected curveballs, one really has control over many changes, such as when to change jobs, when to get into a serious relationship, etc. Carl decided to “replace” the support of his dad and girlfriend with colleagues in his firm and friends outside the firm. His colleagues mentored him and helped him deal with the daily grind of the advising job. Soon he was able to concentrate on his clients, attract new ones and saw a nice bump in his book of business. After a year, he was thriving in both his job and in a new relationship and he was looking forward to completing his MBA.
Your Action Plan:
- Take care of your emotional and physical health by taking care of changes that you can control.
- Every six months, look at the changes that have taken place in your life. If you believe your “stress points” are high, choose to delay making any further changes for at least six more months.
- Believe in yourself and your expertise. Most events that take place in your life are temporary and do not signify failure.
- Write down goals that are realistic, so you can feel in control of as much of your life as possible.
In my next article, I shall explain a unique way to categorize the specific job-related challenges you face in your advising career. This will really help you to take control of these challenges, rather than have them control you!
Dr. Jack Singer is a professional psychologist, speaker and a success coach for financial advisors. He is the author of “ The Financial Advisor’s Ultimate Stress Mastery Guide,” which can be ordered in the FA Mag Bookstore, using this link: /book--ultimate-stress-mastery-guide. To learn more about Dr. Jack’s keynote speaking and exclusive coaching services for financial advisors and his unique, referral-generating program for client appreciation event, visit http://www.funspeaker.com.