According to DeVoe, firm culture and the lack of a fit typically torpedo most courtships when advisors start heading to the altar. All too often, this happens way too late in the game.

DeVoe thinks advisors could save themselves a lot of time and emotional capital by addressing the deal-killers at the outset. He estimates that only one out of five or six courtships get consummated.

"What do they have to have? Is it a certain valuation or that several employees have to keep their jobs for several years?" DeVoe asks. Ask questions about how each firm works with clients during a market downturn or how it deals with an employee who isn't performing, he adds.

In the end, it's about more than money. 

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