"STOP IT!"
Flabbergasted and uncomprehending, the woman just stares at him. So Newhart clarifies his advice by spelling it.
"S-T-O-P, new word, I-T!"
The skit makes me think of the way financial advisors sometimes give advice, particularly to women. "Stop it," we say, though using a few more words. "Stop spending, stop giving so much to your kids, stop worrying about investment risk, outliving your resources or your husband's health. Take this long-term-care policy, or this annuity, or this allocation, and call me in the morning."
We are not always, in other words, great listeners, but are nevertheless great fixers. This usually works just fine for clients, specifically men, who want the "bottom line" without a lot of preamble. But when it comes to attracting and retaining women clients, the combination of the two traits can be disastrous. Women want to be heard (maybe because they've been silent for so long), and they certainly don't want solutions without being heard first.
But it goes deeper than that. When we try to fix women, we can be inadvertently communicating that they cannot fix themselves. Watch out ... there may be imbedded sex-plosive issues here that we didn't plant, but can blow us up anyway.
What it comes down to is quite simple. We have to start treating women not as specially and separately female, but as individuals who have a lot to say about what they want and need from their advisors. And, let us not forget, as individuals who now have the money to make this change happen.
Eleanor Blayney, CFP, is president of Directions for Women and CFP Board Consumer Advocate. She can be reached at [email protected].