For the past ten years I've been preaching the importance of having referral relationships with peer professionals (those experts that offer a complementary, not redundant, service to yours) because that's how the best, most profitable and most important high-net-worth business is awarded. Since last summer-as I've been traveling around the country meeting with wealth advisors, private client attorneys, private bankers, representatives from single-family offices, concierge and emergency medical specialists and many other providers to the super-rich-I've witnessed firsthand the process of industry professionals seeking and evaluating these kinds of relationships over a several-month timeframe.
It's been enlightening and surprising (and sometimes funny) to see the coincident assessment occur between two firms or two professionals. In the end, it usually comes down to fit; how comfortable am I with this person? With his personality, his working style, his training and education, his ambition, his work ethic, his background, his reputation? His client roster, his-follow-through? Is there a spark or some sort of connection that gets us on the same page on the big issues? Do we have similar views about service or marketing? Ultimately, it's a very personal and very subjective process that is difficult to characterize.
Serendipitously, I happened to observe a very similar "mating dance" occur during the same timeframe ... but it was between a record producer and an up-and-coming musician who writes his own lyrics and beats. The differences probably outweigh the similarities when comparing private wealth management and the music business, but the process used for identifying and sizing up people for a critical partnership is remarkably similar. It's about two professionals with two distinct, but related, areas of focus that find more in each other than credentials. The criteria may be different by industry, but the process and goals are the same: common ground, shared vision and a long-term mutually beneficial relationship. And, again, it comes down to fit. You know, the thing that can be frustratingly intangible when it's not present, but overwhelmingly obvious when it is?
If you have a good fit with one of your referral sources it should be cultivated. If you don't (and you're honest about it), my suggestion is to keep looking for a better fit. The hard work and time needed to find the right partner can be off-putting, but will be worth the effort in the long run when you're able to build the foundation for your future success.