Approaching the water station at mile 10, my right calf cramped up so I walked through it, drinking half cups of water and Gatorade. At mile 15, the problem had compounded to my forearms and now, both calves were tightening up at various intervals.

By the time I was in the last mile of my first marathon, I was half walking, half jogging in an awkward manner to keep my body from completely locking up due to dehydration. As a lifelong athlete it was common for me to consume little or no water for fear of cramping up during the game. Little did I know that a marathon must be approached quite differently. 

The same kind of realization can happen to people racing toward retirement. The more that’s poured into their work and flooded into their investment portfolios, the less time and energy remains for their health, relationships and emotional well-being. Therefore, these areas of life begin to tighten up, to hurt, even causing some to awkwardly lurch towards retirement’s finish line, wondering why efforts that worked in other aspects of their life aren’t having the same results now.      

As a result, some clients can enter retirement “thirsty,” unaware of the need to constantly rehydrate certain aspects of their life. This is understandable because society, the media and even the financial services industry often portray retirement as life’s ultimate fountain, the magic elixir that will quench any thirst. In practice, what happens is clients discover the financial well they’ve been so desperate to fill up is actually draining valuable “fluids” from other areas of their life. 

A concept that is illustrated by the following words of wisdom:

First I was dying to finish high schol and start college.

And then I was dying to finish college and start working.

And then I was dying to marry and have children.

And then I was dying for my children to grow old enough for school so I could return to work.

And then I was dying to retire

And now, I am dying … and suddently realize I forgot to live.           

- Anonymous

Anecdotes such as this help clarify priorities for clients, which is exactly the type of refreshing drink they need for their next stage of life. In other words, a gentle reminder that retirement is much more than a financial event and can wind up like a barren desert, without enough “water” to sustain key areas of life.

When I started training for my first marathon I had visions of sprinting across the finish line; arms raised in victory, and a running time well under four hours. I wondered if my hard work and training would turn me into a regular marathoner, eventually stepping up my game and qualifying for the Boston marathon. I had enough self-confidence for this first race to actually drive myself to the starting line and home afterwards. No need for my fans giving me a relaxing ride home, I had it all figured out. 

It turns out my first marathon was my last. I finished near the five-hour mark and, if I ever make it to the Boston area, it won’t be to run. Clients can fall into similar mental and physical traps when it comes to retirement. Most imagine themselves retiring in good health, surrounded by family and friends, with opportunities to travel, relax and grow. They want enough money saved, the house paid off, no debt and the ability to maintain a high standard of living.

The harsh reality is that the average new and existing retiree is at least 25 pounds overweight, feels tired for some part of the day, is moderately depressed about something, has low self-esteem in some areas of life, admit they only “kinda have a best friend” and, overall, lead pretty mundane lives.

Furthermore, research suggests 40 percent of baby boomers say it is difficult to kneel or stoop, stand for two hours, walk 1/4 mile, climb 10 steps without resting, sit for two hours, lift and carry 10 lbs., reach over their heads, push or pull a large object or grasp small objects.

The way I read that is 40 percent of people are going to struggle on a vacation that requires some walking, standing or holding onto a rail. It means people are going to find it difficult to play on the floor or in the grass with the grandkids ... and things like gardening, biking or watching a movie may be less enjoyable than they thought it would be.

Just as I learned the keys to a successful marathon the hard way, too many people figure out retirement only after they get there, or are forced to slow down and examine the wells from which they are drinking. Be it illness, loss of  a loved one or some other form of breakage, they look back and realize they should have drank a little more each day from the wellspring of life, instead of collecting fine wines to drink later and then having to consume them alone.

Two things financial advisors need to help clients figure out are: 1) why they are running the race in the first place and 2) how they hope to finish. The truth is, life’s many thirsts never go away. There will always be a longing or desire to chase one particular thirst or another. Once a client understands that retirement can’t quench all their thirsts in one swift move, advisors can use life planning tools and resources to help them focus on managing the ones most important to them.

I recently met with a dehydrated couple on their way to retirement. The husband had reached full retirement age, but his wife is still six months short of her 62^nd birthday. The problem is, her work environment has become toxic, and it’s affecting other areas of her life. She wants to retire right now.   

From the get-go, her husband was adamant about finishing strong. “I have less than 27 months before I retire, and if she can just take a couple of weeks’ vacation or something to let things blow over, we’ll be able to hit the marks we need to.”

 I interrupted, “The last time we met I thought you told me you were closer to retiring in 18 months.”

“Well,” he replied, “I figured if we can earn a little more, we won’t ever have to worry about returning to work … or running out of money … and we can enjoy all the stuff we have.”

I pushed back, “Willie, you’ll be almost 70 when you retire, and with your arthritis, I’m worried you won’t be able to enjoy your stuff the way you think you will. You have ample funds to enjoy life now and to make retirement much sooner—you guys just need to figure out how you want to run the rest of the race.”

His response was pointed, “We’re too far into the game to give up. Why lose everything we worked for because she’s having a few bad weeks at work?”

At this point his wife interjected, “Honey, you may like going to work but I don’t … right now I can’t stand it or the way I’m being treated there. All you care about is working more … and then a little more … or losing my pay rate … why is it always more for you? What about me?”

I sat quietly for a moment and then said to her husband, “You know Willie, you’re right … it is late in the game and you shouldn’t give everything up. The only difference between what I’m saying and what you feel is that, right now, you’re winning the game. You’re up by a couple touchdowns and no one can take them away from you. You can either run up the score or take a knee and enjoy the last few plays before the next game starts. It’s up to you, but if you go for it, you could lose a lot more than some extra points.”

The next day, the couple called back and decided the wife would retire on Monday. Her husband’s retirement date is back to 18 months instead of 27. In short, he quickly saw how his focus on one single financial well was stealing water from his relationships and ability to enjoy what he had already worked for. 

Examples like these are important because it’s crucial that we, as an industry, do not sit by and let clients get dehydrated because they’re digging this perfect financial well. Advisors who understand the comprehensive nature of the marathon called retirement can help clients identify key watering stations to not only replenish on their way to the finish line but also after the race as well. 

Robert Laura is president of SYNERGOS Financial Group, founder of RetirementProject.org, creator of the Retirement Wellness Report and DividendPaycheck.org. He can be reached at [email protected].