I was running behind for one of my workshops. As I hustled to hand out my material and make a connection with the group, I was reminded of retirement’s swift undercurrent that can quickly drag people into a sea of misery.
I started the class with my normal opening question, “Why did you sign up for a workshop called Naked Retirement and what do you hope to get out of it before you leave?”
Gary was sitting directly across from me, so I asked him to start.
He smirked and said, “I retired last April and I’m not doing well. I’m just flat and don’t feel like doing much, so I’m trying to figure out some direction for my life and was hoping this class could help.”
I was a deer in headlights. Gary dropped a nuclear bomb at the very opening of the class and I was floored. Nobody shares stuff like that at the beginning of a workshop, especially when there are other people around. It was an eye-opening reminder of how quickly a client can sink in retirement and the need for advisors to be trained as lifeguards of retirement.
Of course, that set the tone of the class and opened the flood gates. Bill and Anne were to my right and as my gaze shifted to them, Bill signaled his own distress call.
“I retired earlier this year and I’m a couch potato.” Hanging his head, he added, “I just sit around watching TV all day and I guess it drives her crazy and…”
Before he finished his sentence, Anne chimed in, “He does… and never leaves! I ask him to do things or tell him to call a friend or something, but he just sits there.”
The other couple hadn’t retired yet, but were anxious about making the transition. Jerry and Sue were both in the medical field and wanted to avoid the rough waters of retirement. Sue opened up first and said, “I signed us up for the class because I work in oncology and see a lot of people who have 3-6 months to live. Some are happy and joking during their appointments but others aren’t. It makes me wonder how to make the most of your life while you have it.”
This brief exchange highlights the reason why soft skills training will be one of the most crucial tools for financial professionals going forward. Specifically, the ability to empathize with clients, uncover behaviors that conflict with their values, and give clients permission, and a safe place, to share what they’re thinking and feeling.