High-net-worth individuals and families rely on a vast network of advisors for their estate planning and wealth management. The most trusted advisors understand what it takes to serve these individuals and their families. Along with financial assets, clients also bring to advisors their hopes and deepest concerns. Advisors must be mindful and respectful of this. The most successful client relationships are built around a circle of trust with the client in the center surrounded by his advisors, who are working together. This approach maximizes the estate and financial planning process and helps the client achieve his goals.

The first step in the process often begins with an initial meeting followed by a more formal process in which an advisor acquires essential information from the clients. This can be cumbersome for the latter, who often find it tedious and time consuming. But it can be simplified when the team of advisors, comprising lawyers, accountants, financial planners, etc., have already established relationships with one another. With the client's consent, the team can share vital information to make the process more efficient.

Once the team is assembled and the information shared, the next step should be a meeting with all the advisors present. The importance of this round table discussion, centered around the client, cannot be overestimated. And the key in this stage is listening. To gain a deep knowledge of the clients' concerns, advisors should be mindful not to dominate the conversation, talk excessively among themselves or place too much focus on highly technical language. They should also avoid talking above or around the client. The dialogue should always circle back to him, and the language used should match his level of sophistication.

Understanding who the family members are and their relationships with one another and with their wealth is as important as knowing how the assets are titled and what entities have been established. Advisors who work together as a team are better able to understand the family's history, culture, weaknesses and strengths as well as its decision-making process. Each advisor will bring different expertise to the table, and those multiple perspectives will offer greater insight into the challenges facing the family and create more solutions.

In collaboration, the team can offer creative ideas and integrated strategies. Besides making advisors more productive, collaboration may also ultimately be effective in keeping the client focused, disciplined and engaged throughout the estate-planning process.

A hindrance to this process can be an advisor who fears losing control of his client, and therefore shields him from interactions with other professionals. This frustrates the planning process, and will often lead to a breakdown in the relationship when the client realizes the advisor has not been acting in his interests but in the advisor's own. That means advisors must move past their fear for the good of the client.

Another hindrance can be the reluctance of the client to reach out to advisors who charge hourly. The client may not want his lawyer at the meetings, for instance, if the lawyer charges hourly. The other advisors should step in at this point and let the client know his long-term interests will be best served with all his counsel present. The meetings might take place at the law firm to maximize the lawyer's time, or meetings can otherwise be scheduled over lunch or dinner. In the latter case, the lawyer should consider not billing the client for that time and instead write it off as a marketing expense. While lawyers are often under tremendous pressure to bill for their time, sometimes they should be willing to lose a few hours to gain the client's trust.

The team of advisors can also work to bring in subject matter specialists, technical experts, or even therapists when warranted. For instance, if the team's accountant lacks the necessary expertise to properly advise the client on a particular matter, a specialist can come in just for that situation. This is a win-win; the client is satisfied because his needs have been met while the accountant has maintained the relationship. But it can only happen when there is enough trust among the advisors that the accountant is not threatened by the others' recommendation of outside help. Of course, the best advisors will recognize their lack of experience on some matters and either gain the necessary expertise themselves or try to bring it into the team from the outside.

Advisors assembling teams often draw on their contacts and relationships in professional organizations. Our organization, for instance, the Boston Estate Planning Council, brings together lawyers, accountants, wealth managers, insurance advisors and other professionals for networking and education. Such organizations can give advisors a feel for what it is like to work with a person on non-client matters before introducing him or her to the client and the estate planning team.

Once a client's estate plan is in place, a schedule to monitor it needs to be implemented as families face the challenges and changes in their journey through life. Regular contact, at least every year (if not quarterly) with all advisors present, is crucial. Some advisors will schedule a year-end meeting every December to discuss updates to the estate plan, gifting opportunities, business planning and other wealth-preservation and transfer strategies. Advisors should tailor the schedule to a plan that the client will adhere to.

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