“In this environment, it’s tough with that second kid if you’re trying to help the first kid keep their loan burden down,” he says. He knows families who have steered their second child toward schools that are less expensive or offer more non-need-based aid.

Parents should be explaining cash flow, budgeting, savings rates, taxes and other financial issues to their young adult children, says Beloff. Some clients have asked him to sit down and talk with their kids about it.

Jennifer Luzzatto, founder of Summit Financial Planning, a fee-only investment advisory and financial planning firm in Richmond, Va., also looks at college needs as part of a client’s overall financial plan. “A lot of college planning is tax planning with a college cap on it,” she says. This includes finding the right loans and interest payments.

It’s important to vet any college planner. “Make sure it’s not an annuity salesman in disguise,” she says. When people use annuities to hide assets from the Free Application for Federal Student Aid, it ends up costing families more in the long run, she says. Borrowers should also exercise caution, she says, if they use a home equity loan to pay off college debt.

Luzzatto used to do a lot of hourly planning for people overwhelmed by student loans and frustrated by unresponsive lenders. “We would hold their hand and put together a spreadsheet for them,” she says. Although the clients themselves had to speak directly with the lenders for privacy reasons, she occasionally participated in their conference calls with lenders.

Student debt can be an emotional issue. “I’ve seen marriages hang in the balance as couples disagree on how to pay off student loans,” she says. Many of her clients have found success using the “snowball method”—paying off smaller loan balances first and then allotting more cash flow to larger loans. “It’s exhilarating and very motivating,” she says. “They start to feel accomplished, and that it’s not impossible.”

But Mark Kantrowitz, an expert on financial aid, scholarships and student loans, isn’t sold on the snowball method. Although many view it as “a quick win and psychological boost,” he says, “it doesn’t yield any boost when you look at the numbers.” Instead, he advocates paying off loans with the highest interest rates first.