Could your communication skills save your life? The answer is "Yes!" according to Capt. Charlie Plumb, a Vietnam veteran and my colleague in the Speakers Roundtable, an association of speakers, authors and business consultants.

Plumb survived six and a half years in a Vietnamese prisoner of war camp-the Hanoi Hilton. The same luxury accommodations enjoyed by U.S. senator and presidential candidate John McCain. Only Charlie was there longer. Here's what he has to say about communication:

I had been through the survival schools in the military and been told repeatedly that if I were a prisoner of war to 'maintain contact with my fellow POWs.' I thought this was very logical. How else could we pass along the escape plans? Much to my surprise, the 'life saving' value of communication in the camps wasn't the information we were passing around, but the simple validation of another human being. After months of solitary confinement in a very dark cell, a person loses track of ones very existence. There is no sounding board ... no feedback ... nothing to prove that you are real. The simple tapping on a wall (shave-and-a-haircut?) and the response (six-bits) proves your existence.  Someone is responding to you!

The point for a financial advisor, he says, is this: "It's not the 'data' that's the important part of the communication process. It's the simple validation of an individual and their pain." (You can read Plumb's inspiring story at www.charlieplumb.com.)

You may never rely on your communication skills to save your life. However, they are the key to whether or not prospects and clients trust you, whether or not they move all of their money and financial affairs to you, whether or not they follow your advice, whether or not they stick with you during challenging times, and whether or not they refer and introduce you to others.

Yes, communication skills are vital for financial advisors. What you say, how you say it and when you say it can make all the difference in the world to your success, failure or mediocrity.

In this article I will introduce you to some of the best and brightest communicators I know and their relevant ideas. You'll get some of their "nuggets" and I'll refer you to their books and Web sites so you can explore further the ideas that resonate with you.

Bert Decker, author of You've Got To Be Believed To Be Heard and the creator of the Decker Communications class (www.decker.com), says, "the quality of your communication determines the quality of your life."

Patricia Fripp, another author I admire for her relentless pursuit of accurate, articulate, and specific communication, likes to quote one of her own mentors, David Palmer, who says, "Specificity leads to credibility."

Fripp often asks: How specific is your communication? How often do you use substitute words like "stuff" for the actual word that accurately describes what you mean to say? How often do you say things like "kinda" or "sorta" or other ambiguous words that make you sound like you really don't know what you are talking about? How much more compelling could you make your communications by being more precise with your words? Go to www.fripp.com to download excellent articles about being a better, more precise communicator.

Excellent communication means knowing the right questions and when to ask them. It also means listening with empathy. When it's your turn to talk, you know how to articulate your ideas and your advice with conviction. Your clients and prospects know that you are focused on them, and as a result they respond positively and take appropriate action.  

Review your notes and the script for your meetings with both clients and prospects and consider these things: What questions do you ask? In what sequence do you ask your questions? Are you truly listening with empathy or are you formulating what you are going to say next? How do you respond to their questions or comments and then come back to ask your next planned question? What is it they really want? Can you make the conversation valuable for them whether they hire you or not? Do you know what to say when the appropriate thing to do is to "politely disengage" and not offer to be hired?

Having a script or talking points is not about memorizing the words and sounding like a robot. It's not a sales technique. The script is there to show them you are prepared and that you want them to have a good, constructive experience.

Sometimes a positive result is deciding not to work together. The objective of good communication is to determine fit, not close the sale.

If you have ever heard me speak before, you have probably heard me say, "You build trust by listening to the client's story, not by telling yours." Patricia Fripp says, "Salespeople often talk too much about themselves and their service or product. They make a speech rather than having an exchange or interaction, otherwise known as conversation." What makes it a better conversation for the client is when you ask the questions and they do most of the talking. It shouldn't be superficial chitchat about how long they've lived in the neighborhood, the weather or their favorite sports team. Your questions should evoke a meaningful emotional response.

Motivational speaker and author Giovanni Livera puts it this way: "When you connect people to their heart, you connect them to you." (See his Web site, www.giovanniexperiences.com.)

Great communicators are truth tellers. That doesn't mean you have to be mean and completely tactless, or say things like, "Wow! That's an ugly baby." As Dianna Booher, author of the books Voices of Authority and Communicate with Confidence, puts it, "The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth should not be three separate things." In other words, the truth should be compelling enough by itself to inspire your prospects and clients to action. You don't have to resort to spin, hype, exaggeration or embellishment to make them hire you or take your advice.

The most successful communicators record their meetings with clients. (Olympus and Sony both make excellent hand-held digital recorders.) Recording allows you to achieve two great results. One, you hear how you can be doing a better job for your clients, and two, you become a better communicator in the future. Prospects and clients love it when financial advisors record the meetings. Why? Because your actions demonstrate that you truly care enough to get it right.

Here's how you introduce the recorder in a way that gives you more credibility: "I appreciate the investment of time and effort you made to be here today. You'll notice that I'll ask many relevant questions and take copious notes, and I also record the meeting. The reason is that I'm very thorough. If we choose to work together, I'll listen to this recording at least one more time." Ask them if they've ever watched a movie more than once to see things they missed the first time.
If so, you can say, "Giving you advice about your money so you can achieve your goals is obviously much more important than a movie, so we want to make sure our advice s right for you." And then you ask your first question.

Don't be surprised when they nod and smile because they are impressed with your thoroughness and professionalism. Only the most paranoid people would refuse to let you record, and you want to know about them sooner rather than later.

I have heard about a couple of firms that forbid advisors to record client meetings. If you work for one of these firms, you should quit and find a new one. Such companies cannot help you serve your clients at the highest level and are not dedicated to your success, nor are they client-centered. Could you imagine a professional sports franchise forbidding players from video recording their games to improve their skills? Absurd.

Great communication skills may ot save your life, but they can certainly make you much more successful and happier.

If you missed the August 18 Webinar about communication skills, you can watch the archived recording at www.fa-mag.com/multimedia/3423.html.

 

©2009 Bill Bachrach. Bill Bachrach, CSP, CPAE, is the chairman & CEO of BAI, a full-service training and development company for financial advisors. www.baivbfp.com.