Where To Hold The Meeting
Family gatherings are special events. They are fun as well as purposeful. They should not be held in a conference room because they are not business meetings. They should also not be held in the parent’s home, which is rarely neutral territory no matter how cohesive the family is. Retreat centers and resorts are often ideal places to hold gatherings. If this is not possible, the next best alternatives are conference centers or hotels in urban areas. Ideally, there should be access to the outdoors and plenty of space to spread out and engage in physical activities.
The best meeting spaces will have two areas or rooms: one where tables are available for individual and smaller group work and another open area with a circle of chairs or a living-room-like setting.
How To Be Productive
The key to a productive family meeting is good facilitation. A good facilitator has extensive experience and will interview all participants—or at least key individuals in larger families—in advance and construct a program that will accomplish clearly defined goals agreed to by the facilitator and the family leaders. The design of the gathering is as important as the meetings. It should reflect creativity and innovation. The program should allow the family to address concerns, but in ways that will minimize destructive conflict. Finally, the design must have clear and definable outcomes that can be achieved over time.
The best gatherings will result in agreements and commitments that support the common good of the family, foster effective collaboration and create accountability.
The facilitator should frame the day, manage the process, encourage engagement and work constructively with both family enthusiasm and conflict. Often, outside speakers—such as the family’s financial advisors—will join the family to discuss educational, cultural or philanthropic topics. This serves to stimulate discussion in neutral yet interesting areas.
The process should allow enough time to come to key agreements. Follow-up is almost always necessary. It should include meeting byproducts and individual post-meeting interviews to debrief, manage any lingering concerns and to anchor commitments.
Families that experience facilitated family gatherings report positive gains from the experience. Members feel more fully engaged in a family process, inclusion is reinforced, expectations and challenges clarified, and the basis for further meetings and effective communication is established. While change may be modest, the family has begun the important process of defining itself, its values and how it will share information and make important decisions. Such a foundation will help build cohesion and collaboration, two essential elements necessary to ensure the long-term viability of the family and its interests.
Matthew Wesley ([email protected]) is founder of the Wesley Group and works with family leaders to address the complex impact of wealth on families.
Stephen Campbell ([email protected]) is managing director and head of the North America Family Office Group for Citi Private Bank.