It started simply enough. The first time Ken drove his dad to the doctor’s office, it was a piece of cake, hardly worth a thought. After all, Ken had just retired and could easily fit the appointment into his schedule. These days, less than two years later, it is hard for Ken to have a thought for very long about anything other than his father’s care.
Ken’s retirement was not supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be filled with fun things like traveling with his wife, playing with his grandchildren and golfing with his buddies. Ken did manage to squeeze in a couple of hiking trips that first year of retirement but being away for any length of time worries him. “What if Dad needs me? I need to be able to get to him,” Ken told me.
Ken is far from unusual. Many retirees and those approaching retirement are finding themselves devoting more and more time, attention and money to caregiving. People are living longer, but they are not necessarily living as independently.
Eyesight weakens. Reflexes slow. With so many whackos on the road, driving can quickly become very dangerous as we age. Balance is harder to maintain. It gets challenging to navigate stairs or uneven surfaces.
Then there is the threat of cognitive decline. Is there a 60-year-old in America who isn’t close to a family caring for someone with Alzheimer’s or dementia?
At the 2015 Financial Advisor Inside Retirement conference, Greg Sullivan and I took turns talking about several non-investment related ways clients fail to have the retirement they want. Evan Simonoff, editor-in-chief of Financial Advisor, moderated the panel and used it as the basis for the cover story of the June 2015 issue, “Why Clients Fail at Retirement.”
In that article, Simonoff touched on some of the challenges that arise to derail a well-conceived retirement such as divorce, second homes, starting businesses, fraud, supporting adult children, healthcare expenses and overspending. After seeing it come up again a couple of times recently, I’d add caregiving to our list.
Taking someone to the doctor is not a big deal; Ken was happy to do it. However, as the frequency of the visits increased, the inclination to say it was not a burden waned.
It wasn’t just the number of visits to his dad’s house or taking his dad to doctor appointments that never seem to go off as scheduled. As Ken’s dad’s health continued to decline, Ken was faced with the realization that the task was becoming too much for him. He lacked the skill necessary to care for his dad. He was tired. He couldn’t turn his attention to other important matters. He was starting to resent his siblings who were not helping. His wife felt neglected.
This recognition led him to seek help and into the confusing world of elder care. Medicare, Medicaid, the VA and many programs available through state government are complex. Health and long-term-care insurance policies are also far from simple.