My friend Rebecca is a beautiful person inside and out—professionally and personally successful, involved in her community and making a difference. She has always approached challenges at work or home with an enviable calm. Then all at once, she was hit with significant challenges on every side. At work they were talking layoffs, her children were struggling at school and her aging mother was showing signs of dementia. When she shared this with me, I said, “Let’s get coffee.”

As Rebecca opened up over some java, she shared about a life under tremendous stress. “I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. My kids and husband really need me right now, but I’m the main earner in our family, and I’m worried about getting my hours cut back. We can’t afford that. And my brother just called to tell me our mom drove her car into the side of the grocery store.  I’m not Wonder Woman!”

Does this sound familiar? This is the life of the sandwich generation woman; squeezed between children, spouses and aging loved ones that rely on her for support.

As a member of the Family Wealth Advisor’s Council (FWAC), I, along with my colleagues, have conducted studies of Women of Wealth in hopes of gaining additional insight to aid financial advisors in understanding the challenges and opportunities facing our female clients. Being “caught in the middle” of the generational sandwich was a big issue for these women, whether married, single or divorced.

The majority of women surveyed said the single most significant near-term transition they faced was providing financially and emotionally for both children and aging parents. Nearly 80 percent of these women (married or divorced) also believed that they would be called upon to help one or more children in crisis. 

It is vital for advisors who want to best help these women to first understand their stress.

Stress

The sandwich generation woman, like my friend Rebecca, faces enormous financial, emotional and professional pressures.

Financially, these women are feeling the squeeze from several directions. The wage gap between themselves and their male counterparts may be shrinking, according to a recent Pew Research Center report, but it still exists. Women are earning only 82 percent of what men are earning. The typical sandwich generation woman (who is in her 40s or 50s and often working outside the home) will spend at least 20 hours a week raising children and caring for aging loved ones. Because of her caregiving responsibilities, she is required to work less, creating professional pressure. A MetLife Mature Market Institute study found that women in this life stage stand to lose wages and Social Security benefits of around $324,000 over a lifetime. This reality should challenge advisors to think outside the box when providing retirement solutions for their sandwich generation clients.

Emotionally, the sandwich generation woman is often called upon daily to support a child in need or an elder dealing with the complexities of aging. Imagine starting your day with an upset child who just lost their job and wants to move back into the house, and ending your day combing through your parents credit card bills and bank statements because they are confused about their finances and you are worried they are getting taken advantage of. Your female clients who are caught in middle need support, encouragement and sound advice.

 

Adding Value

The great news for a trusted financial advisor to a sandwich generation woman client is that you are both needed and wanted!

Nearly 80 percent of the women in the original FWAC study said it was important to have a proactive advisor who makes recommendations, monitors asset protection strategies, acts as the quarterback of a team of professionals and provides access to world-class financial planning solutions.

Be A Connector

One of the biggest ways an advisor can add value is to be a connector. These women have many responsibilities and must make decisions for themselves as well as others, often without the luxury of time. To the extent an advisor can assist in creating a good support team, the more successful the client will be. From my experience, these clients will need, at minimum:

Other “team members” that you may be able to connect your client with include personal trainers, real estate specialists or family counselors. Our FWAC research shows that women don’t just want a general idea of who to talk to…they find incredible value in specific recommendations and the actual connection.

Create A Proactive Plan For Aging

 

Encourage Life Balance

Stress is a socially acceptable cancer that steals health, vitality, and joy. Your sandwich generation woman client needs you to have courageous conversations with her about ways to reduce stresses in her life. While you can’t always alter circumstances, as a trusted advisor, you can suggest activities that will manage stress and promote balance. Simple suggestions like getting regular exercise, connecting with a support group, asking for help and managing energy demonstrate your engagement and desire to promote not only a solid financial life plan but a strong personal life plan as well.

Women who care for children and aging loved ones struggle under enormous pressures. Understanding their needs and helping with advanced preparation, acting as a quarterback and connector, will demonstrate your value as a trusted advisor. Partnering with female clients has been one of the richest and most rewarding aspects of our business. Understanding the complexities of the sandwich generation woman’s life has helped me be a better advisor, and I know the opportunity is there for you as well.

Sharon C. Allen, CFP, CTFA, is the president and co-founder of Sterling Wealth Management and the co-author of “Caught in the Middle: How Does the Sandwich Generation Woman Not Get Squeezed?”