I hope that I leave you with something of spiritual and material value that will help you become responsible and caring members of society. The world is yours to explore and in that exploring, you will come to understand and appreciate your place in the big picture of life. A loving heart, positive values, strong character and a social conscience are far more important than material wealth.
-Ethical will excerpt from a client of a financial advisor
Some financial advisors use ethical wills to help clients define their legacy as part of the estate planning process. This is based on the notion that we all leave a legacy that goes beyond money and material possessions. For clients, ethical wills offer a way to be remembered and to positively influence the next generation.
While gaining in popularity, little is known about the use of ethical wills by financial planners and attorneys. How do they integrate ethical wills into their practice? In what ways do they start legacy conversations with clients? What is the client response? What are the advantages and disadvantages of this work? What follows are the responses from a national phone survey of advisors actively using ethical wills in their practices.
What Is An Ethical Will?
With a basic or traditional will of inheritance, both money and real estate are transferred to the next generation. An ethical will is not a legal document and does not easily fit into the traditional tax and legal language of basic wills. An ethical will is a statement of values, beliefs, blessings, wisdom and family stories. Most contain one or more of the following: hopes for the future, lessons learned from life experiences, appreciation for heirs, religious or spiritual beliefs, and comfort thoughts (e.g., statements of forgiveness, acceptance of death).
What Is The Appeal?
Advisors often see the negative consequences or “ugly aspects of estate planning.” Witnessing family conflict is one clear motivation to move beyond an exclusive focus on money and real estate. Preserving family harmony is vital, and many consider it an integral part of successfully doing their work. Several echoed the sentiment of one attorney from Florida who said, “I want to help my clients reconcile before it’s too late.”
Many talked about the deeper meaning of money. “Money always has an agenda and that must be addressed.” Doing so means expanding the traditional model. As one planner commented, “I love marrying the quantitative with the qualitative.” Several advisors referred to this as a process that connects the heart and soul with money. They are excited to offer ethical wills in their menu of services. An attorney from Georgia described the importance of offering a tool that promotes a “more humane process.”
What’s In A Name?
A number of advisors, both planners and attorneys, do not use the name ethical will. They use a different title, one that seems consistent with their own values and practice orientation. Attorneys are concerned about the possible confusion between ethical wills and basic wills of inheritance. They accurately pointed out that ethical wills carry no legal force. They reported using the following names:
Legacy Declaration
Values and Vision Statement
Family Philosophy Letter
Legacy Letter
Love Letter
Heritage Will
Client Response
Clients show a broad range of interest and involvement in the use of ethical wills. Clearly, they are not for everyone. Some people are not comfortable “going that deep.” One attorney in Wisconsin could not generate any traction despite his considerable efforts. Another attorney in Oregon reported the opposite. “You have to see how powerful this is,” she said. “They clutch their family philosophy letters after they leave my office.” This same attorney reported an encounter between siblings who hadn’t been in contact with one another for years. They had an “icy relationship with each other. After their mother’s death I put them in an office and gave them the family philosophy letter she wrote. I came back 30 minutes later, and they were in tears, holding hands. It healed the family.”
Planners reported similar results. “Our evaluations are off the charts,” said one planner from Ohio. She added, “Clients are proud of the results of writing an ethical will. As an advisor, you have done something for them no one else has offered.” Another planner from Florida said her clients tell her that writing a legacy letter was “a lot more fun than the usual financial stuff.” Others stated that after clients read their letters to loved ones, it “acts like a balm” and is the “glue that holds the family together.”
Advisors reported a completion rate of 10 to 40 percent with the writing process. There is also an appeal in defining a more expansive role with clients. The vast majority of those interviewed reported a significant deepening of client relationships and loyalty. “Once they have completed this process with you,” as one practitioner from Florida mentioned, “they aren’t going anywhere else.”
Tips For Getting Started
The main thing you can do, according to a majority of practitioners, is to start by writing your own ethical will. Many were adamant about this point. They emphasized the importance of bringing passion to this work and said there is no shortcut. One must “walk the walk.”
At what point in an advisor’s career should they start using ethical wills in their practice? A planner from California suggested the best time to start is after financial sustainability is achieved because, in his opinion, it is difficult to directly measure a quantitative payoff. Other planners see a new generation of clients with interests more aligned with a qualitative approach to financial planning. If so, then there is support for starting this work earlier in one’s career.
Two more tips are worth mentioning. A planner from Minnesota suggested doing this work with a smaller number of clients. “Go deeper with fewer clients,” as a way to start and really hone skills. An attorney from Michigan believes this work may be a better fit for those involved in a spiritual community. After all, “These aren’t the types of questions commonly expected from an attorney.”
Cautions
Practitioners cautioned, more than anything else, about the emotional material that often emerges from the process of writing an ethical will. As such, the lack of control over the process means they must be prepared for just about anything that may come up. For example, one planner in California said the topic of a client’s molestation was “just about too much information for me to handle.” Practitioners must be prepared to deal with a wide assortment of topics that may take them out of their comfort zone including death, estrangement from family members and dramatic family stories.
Some practitioners directly tackle these and other issues and seem to feel quite comfortable doing so. They reported the importance of being a skilled communicator in dealing with difficult topics and welcome the “pain, tears and laughter” that may result. One strategy is to team up with a family systems expert to either coach the planner or directly handle the relationship dynamics that result from the process.
Conclusion
I would love to see you become responsible members of the community and philanthropists. To that end, I have set up a donor-advised fund as the main conduit for our philanthropic interest. This fund will give you and possibly your children the ability to make grants to worthy causes. I want portability so that you can direct grants to your own communities, as well as to national and international interests.
-Ethical will of a client of an estate planning attorney from Oregon
There is an enthusiastic group of financial planners and estate planning attorneys who have integrated ethical wills into their practices. In doing so, these advisors add a meaningful dimension to their menu of services. Ethical wills appeal to clients who want to include the intangible assets that comprise their legacy. Advisors benefit from developing deep and loyal client relationships.
Dr. Eric Weiner gives presentations on family legacy conversations using ethical wills. He is a certified ethical will facilitator. His books, Words from the HEART: A Practical Guide to Writing an Ethical Will and Ethical Wills: Words from the Jewish HEART are both available at www.familylegacyadvisor.com.