These days, few advisors become enthused when told a client is on the phone. Bull or bear, they know their going to be growled at, charged, trampled and for sure feel bitten.
In just the last few days, I've been called by a number of financial advisors—both veteran top producers and youngsters who tell me that from the opening bell to after hours, their clients are bombarding them with emotions that come in the form of "Change my portfolio and liquidate my account," "How could you let this happen to me?" "Why didn't you see this coming?" "What's going to happen now?" “How long before we get back to even?" “My other advisor is much better than you!” “Why should I give you my business?” “I can’t afford to lose any more money.”
My callers all ask me the same question: “How do I calm these clients?” and most of them tack on, “They’re driving me crazy!”
Fortunately for them, “How to deal with emotionally charged clients” is a topic I’ve spoken on to thousands of financial advisors via Wharton Executive Education programs, Security Industry Association programs and financial institution training programs and conferences, so I can be very specific in my answer. I’ll share the advice I offer on the grounds that it will probably come in handy before day’s end.
Emotionally charged clients call you when they experience an emotional reaction that causes them to question your performance, be it your investment strategy or a specific trade. Sometimes it is to express anger and frustration over your performance, other times it’s out of anxiety and fear as they watch their portfolio plummet.
That is not to say that your client’s emotions and feelings are not appropriate. Indeed, most people do get angry and disappointed when their portfolio drops endlessly. However, your clients—like most people—often mismanage these emotions, so the emotional perspective they use when they call you is typically filled with distorted thinking, blaming communications and a tendency to make impulsive changes. While it might be true that a client is best served by liquidating and transferring an account, you want the decision to be based on thoughtfulness, not emotional impulsiveness.
Calming these clients requires responding to them in a manner that causes them to become more realistic in their thoughts; doing so tones down their emotions. It is easier to deal with an upset or concerned client than it is to speak with those who call and are angry or very anxious. Master these five steps and you won’t feel like hanging up on your clients.
1. Be in charge of your own emotions. This is easier said than done because emotions, via a process called emotional contagion, can be likened to a social virus—they are contagious and spread from one person to another chiefly through sound and facial expressions. That means if you “hear” an angry or anxious voice speaking to you, there’s a good chance you are apt to become angry and anxious too. Your own experience will tell you that an angry or anxious client speaking to an angry or anxious advisor does not yield good results. Thus, your first step is to immunize yourself so you do not catch your client’s emotions, like when your partner raises his or her voice to you and you “yell” back.
Your immunization shot is developing a relaxation response, so you can stay cool when your client’s aren’t. To do so, you will have to practice a relaxation exercise approximately 15 minutes a day for about two weeks. Increase your motivation to do so by remembering that “automatically” relaxing in the face of anger, anxiety and fear will not only make you more adept in handling your clients, but also benefit you when you have a crucial conversation with your partner or playing golf or tennis with your friendly competitor.
Until you can relax on cue, you will be smart to write down some “instructional statements” that can guide you when you hear emotional upheaval on the other end: “Breathe slowly, listen to what the client is saying, the client is upset so don’t take it personally, don’t interrupt,” are some examples to keep next to your phone. You might also write one word to keep on your desk that triggers how you want to respond: “Cool”, “Focused”, “Calm” are popular choices.
It is also smart to anticipate the moods you will have to deal with throughout the day. Doing so will allow you to use the following steps to craft strategies on how best to respond when emotionally charged clients call.
2. Identify the client’s emotions. How do you know if a client is emotionally charged? Sometimes this is obvious as when clients state their feelings: “I’m very anxious about my retirement fund,” or “I’m angry that you didn’t sell that stock.” For those times when clients just launch into their verbosity, remember that the statements they make to you encapsulate the emotions they are experiencing. Ask yourself, “How would I have to feel to say this to my advisor?” “For example, what emotion would you have to be experiencing if you called your advisor and said, “Hey, my other advisor is doing much better than you!” Your answer will help you tune in to the emotions being presented. Note—you can only do this if you stay relaxed.
Also, remember that sound carries emotion so “hear” the client. What does an angry voice sound like? How about an anxious or disappointed voice? The faster you can recognize the “voice’s emotion,” the faster you can begin to respond effectively. Take some time to practice speaking in different emotional tones, and you will improve your skill in recognizing the emotional tones of your clients and loved ones.
3. Determine what these emotions signal and how you will manage them. All emotions communicate information. Telling an angry or anxious client to calm down or a disappointed client to cheer up tells them what to do but does not respond to what is eating at them and often leaves the client feeling misunderstood.
On the other hand, if you understand the message of the emotions, you can determine how to respond in a way that not returns the client’s emotional perspective to a state that is reality oriented, but also addresses the feelings that motivated them to call. Here are the most common emotions that call clients to call you and what they communicate:
· Anger communicates that something is wrong
· Anxiety communicates uncertainty
· Fear communicates the perception of threat
· Disappointment communicates being let down
4. Set up a strategy for responding. What do you want your response to accomplish? For example, if you detect that the client is angry, part of your response strategy should be to minimize blame as clients who are angry tend to blame their advisor. If you feel your client is anxious, part of your response strategy should be to say something that reduces the client’s feelings of uncertainty. Generate your response strategy by asking yourself: “What do I want to say that responds to the message of the emotion?” “How will I restore proper emotional perspective to the client?
5. Put into words an emotionally-intelligent response. What are the exact words you need to say to implement your strategy?
Like anything, learning to respond effectively to an emotionally charged client takes a little time, but as your awareness grows to the aforementioned steps, it will become easier and easier to calm the emotionally charged clients every time one calls—be they statements from the angry, anxious, disappointed, fearful or irrationally exuberant.
Here is an example of how the steps might work with one of the most frequent emotional states that cause clients to call you: anger. Note the rationale for each statement.
When clients are angry, they believe they have been wronged, and their communication is filled with blaming accusations. Fear often accompanies anger—the client perceives there is a threat to his or her financial solvency. Emotional perspectives driven by anger and fear prompt the client to call and say something along the lines of “What’s going on? All I see is you losing me money!”
“Well, I’m angry too, and believe it or not, I’m even angrier than you that your portfolio is down. (The words “angry too” validate the clients emotions by implying that you know the client is angry and thus begin to reduce the client’s anger level.) Why? Because my job is to make you money, not lose you money. (Clarifying and stating positive intentions also reduce anger and imply that you are on the same team with the same goal—make the client money.) Can you imagine if my intent was to lose you money? I think I could lose everything! (This statement could be effective because it uses humor to exaggerate that your intentions are not to lose the client money. However, its effectiveness will be a function of your style and the quality of your client relationship.) All right, listen, how about if we take a look at where we are—sometimes a team loses and makes no changes—and see the actions we might take. (The strategy behind this statement is to make the relationship cooperative, thus reducing the tendency to blame in the future. Promoting shared responsibility and a problem-solving oriented relationship is the goal. It also moves the focus to being rational, not emotional. Note the instruction to the client to listen.) Also, while you are down X-percent that is still below industry average, so you might want to keep that in mind. (This statement puts the performance in a realistic perspective. Anger often creates exaggerated negative perceptions about the reality of the situation. By putting the performance in perspective, anger is dissipated, and a realistic appraisal of the performance can be achieved which still might be anger provoking but manageable because it is at a more appropriate level in the context of the situation. Obviously, this can only be used if the client is outperforming the industry loss average.) So let’s get started, and see what we need to do to generate interest!” (This positive action-oriented statement creates motivation and helps make the client relationship productive.)
To get the hang of responding effectively to an emotionally charged client, script out a response to the emotionally charged client who calls and says, “My account is down 20 percent! What should I do?” Ready your response by going through these steps:
· Identify the client’s emotions
· What is the message of the emotions?
· What do you want your response to accomplish?
· What are the words you need to execute your strategy?
Hank Weisinger, Ph.D., is trained in clinical, counseling and organizational psychology. Weisinger is the author of several successful books and has conducted executive development workshops for dozens of Fortune 500 companies. To find out more about his workshops, click here: https://courses.hendrieweisingerphd.com/courses/demo-performing-under-pressure-the-eworkshop-experience/