Until you can relax on cue, you will be smart to write down some “instructional statements” that can guide you when you hear emotional upheaval on the other end: “Breathe slowly, listen to what the client is saying, the client is upset so don’t take it personally, don’t interrupt,” are some examples to keep next to your phone. You might also write one word to keep on your desk that triggers how you want to respond: “Cool”, “Focused”, “Calm” are popular choices.
It is also smart to anticipate the moods you will have to deal with throughout the day. Doing so will allow you to use the following steps to craft strategies on how best to respond when emotionally charged clients call.
2. Identify the client’s emotions. How do you know if a client is emotionally charged? Sometimes this is obvious as when clients state their feelings: “I’m very anxious about my retirement fund,” or “I’m angry that you didn’t sell that stock.” For those times when clients just launch into their verbosity, remember that the statements they make to you encapsulate the emotions they are experiencing. Ask yourself, “How would I have to feel to say this to my advisor?” “For example, what emotion would you have to be experiencing if you called your advisor and said, “Hey, my other advisor is doing much better than you!” Your answer will help you tune in to the emotions being presented. Note—you can only do this if you stay relaxed.
Also, remember that sound carries emotion so “hear” the client. What does an angry voice sound like? How about an anxious or disappointed voice? The faster you can recognize the “voice’s emotion,” the faster you can begin to respond effectively. Take some time to practice speaking in different emotional tones, and you will improve your skill in recognizing the emotional tones of your clients and loved ones.
3. Determine what these emotions signal and how you will manage them. All emotions communicate information. Telling an angry or anxious client to calm down or a disappointed client to cheer up tells them what to do but does not respond to what is eating at them and often leaves the client feeling misunderstood.
On the other hand, if you understand the message of the emotions, you can determine how to respond in a way that not returns the client’s emotional perspective to a state that is reality oriented, but also addresses the feelings that motivated them to call. Here are the most common emotions that call clients to call you and what they communicate:
· Anger communicates that something is wrong
· Anxiety communicates uncertainty
· Fear communicates the perception of threat
· Disappointment communicates being let down
4. Set up a strategy for responding. What do you want your response to accomplish? For example, if you detect that the client is angry, part of your response strategy should be to minimize blame as clients who are angry tend to blame their advisor. If you feel your client is anxious, part of your response strategy should be to say something that reduces the client’s feelings of uncertainty. Generate your response strategy by asking yourself: “What do I want to say that responds to the message of the emotion?” “How will I restore proper emotional perspective to the client?