Try taking the emotion out of it for clients who fall in the latter category, said Shapiro, who co-authored the book "He Said: She Said: A Practical Guide to Finance and Money During Divorce."

"This is just good financial planning," she tells clients.

James D. Lange, a lawyer, CPA, and president of Pittsburgh-based Lange Financial Group, recommends that each member of the couple get separate lawyers, since oftentimes the spouses aren't financially equal.

Pre-nup or not, advisors should send the couple to a lawyer who can help them update their estate plans. Couples should go to that meeting with printouts of all of their financial statements and insurance coverage.

After the wedding, update beneficiary information, including for insurance and retirement plans. For clients who have changed their name, help them update their social security card, credit cards and passport.

The newlyweds need to decide how much they want to co-mingle their accounts.

"In general, the fewer the accounts the better," said Walter (J.R.) Gondeck, a Deerfield, Illinois-based managing director and partner at the Lerner Group of HighTower Advisors LLC.

Edwards said the best thing advisors can do for newlyweds is take an unromantic view of marriage.

"People generally think of marriage as being a romantic engagement, but it also is a business relationship," he said.

 

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