The good news is: Americans with 401(k) appear to have learned these lessons and tend to stick to the best practices. Even during the financial crisis, only 1 percent of Fidelity's plan holders got completely out of equities. In any given year, on average, Fidelity's Thompson said only 10 percent of plan holders will move money between funds.

And yet, in seemingly dire times, we need something to assuage our financial anxieties. Thompson believes that people compulsively check on their dwindling 401(k) plans to feel comforted that nothing needs to be done. "Most people are calling just for reassurance and confidence," she said, "and making sure that, in fact, they shouldn't do anything and stay the course."

Like with any tragedy, we want to take a clear look the damage—and then we want someone to tell us it's all going to be OK.

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