"Men, in general, have more trouble talking about emotional topics than women, making the planning for the handling of the estate more difficult," says Deni. "You need to have a frank discussion with widowers who have children and remarry about what happens if the man becomes incapacitated -- who would he want to look after him and who stays in the home?"

Some of the issues can be taken care of by putting the title to some assets under the name of the person to receive them. But Deni agreed a trust is the safest way to assure assets go where the widower wants.

If one child is needier than another that should be considered ahead of time, and can be taken care of in a trust.

"You need to know about the family dynamics," adds Lauren Locker, founder of Locker Financial Services. "Men generally have more of a problem dealing with this than women."

--Karen DeMasters

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