Where Do You Find Your Heart?

The financial-planning process frequently presents unique opportunities for individuals to purposefully examine their priorities and to talk about "big picture" issues. For folks with busy lives, it often is difficult to find the time for genuine self-assessment. This is one of those times. Are they happy with their relationship with money? The simple act of asking about values and goals is a great first step.

The Bible always has been a terrific source of financial wisdom and perspective. Without bringing the "R" word into this diverse community, we can objectively observe that the Bible provides time-tested acumen in matters of personal finance. In fact, with money as its second-most-addressed subject for 2,000 to 3,000 years, the Bible is abundant and fertile in matters of money's interface with vision and balance.

For me, this verse from Matthew has been particularly instructive. From its venerable vantage point, it puts money in its place and reminds us that our "treasure" must inevitably mirror our heart. In so doing, it speaks to the importance of values and goals and their place in matters of life and soul. Within the context of money, our actions reveal our heart's core far more clearly than words.

In turn, the heart has long symbolized that which is most profound. As a metaphor, it speaks to our reason for being, our purpose in life and our source of life. Our heart is our nucleus, our core. Spiritually as well as physically, our hearts are at the center of ourselves and our relationship to that which is most sacred in our lives. This is why our work is so vital. Money takes us to heart rapidly and unerringly. It reveals us. Our budgets, our net-worth statements, our tax returns and our credit-card and checking-account statements all expose our conscious priorities with unparalleled accuracy and efficiency.

As financial advisors, the extraordinary issues posed within the treasure/heart continuum take us to the heart and its core. Does our work help clients align their hearts with their treasure? Does their financial planning and use of money reflect where they want their hearts to be? Do we help them fulfill their goals and objectives, or are we simply taking an arbitrary template and stuffing them into it? How can we facilitate a journey of discovery that combines hearts and money?

First, let us get our terms straight. For our purposes, the word "treasure" shall include "money," "time" and "talent." Each of these is within the purview of a financial-planning relationship. We all know that time is money. Talent is generally that which enables us to access money. Ultimately, in our work we engage a process addressing our stewardship of each, even as we anticipate their financial implications.

Some call this life planning. Others simply contend that this work is part of identifying goals and objectives. Accordingly, they note, this is rightfully part of the six-step financial planning process, as we have known it for decades. Personally, I suggest that helping clients articulate the core of their hearts is both an incomparable service and an unavoidable aspect of a quality financial-advisory engagement. Moreover, it is a service that will continue to distinguish superb financial-planning advice from the generic.

Our conscious address of treasure and its mindful assimilation with values and goals is simple, healthful stewardship. The reward for integrating money and life is to come to peace and understanding with this most powerful secular force. Done right, our clients are wealthier, healthier and happier. It puts money in its rightful place, neither ignored nor elevated beyond a wholesome respect. After all, life is not about money. Money's function is to serve life.

How does such facilitation take place? I suggest it engages a process of asking, understanding, synthesizing and reality checking. Ideally, it then culminates in a stewardship policy fully integrating treasure, values and goals. Then, not only do we find the heart with the treasure, we also find the heart exactly where the client wants it to be-at the core of a life worth living. Unfortunately, this is not as simple as it looks. For most of us, this is a lifelong process.

Breaking it down, this process has several steps. Any one of these steps has its own timetable and its own rewards. Each is as unique to a client as his DNA or fingerprints. First, it inquires. Then, it enables. Finally, it integrates and compels action as it commands commitment.

Initially, we must make it personal and ask directly: Where do you want your heart to be? What are the values and goals you would like to serve? Do you feel that your allocations of treasure reflect your personal priorities? Does your money resonate with your own perceptions of your heart's core? If not, what is missing or incomplete? Pick your own words, of course. It is the asking that is key.

We can use some obvious templates in our questioning. Where is "family" on the heart/treasure continuum? Work? Sharing and charity? Long-term savings? Look at the bigger tickets: travel, children, living environment, education, cultural experiences, clothing and play. And, of course, professional advice. We cannot impose our will. Nor can we fear the answers. To each client we observe: "It is your money. You are entitled to your own priorities as well as your limitations and imperfections. But I want to know: Is your treasure allocated where you would like to find your heart?"

Be prepared for tears.

Understanding requires awareness of the individual and her contexts. If nothing more, the simple act of understanding is, itself, empowering. What is your client's personal history with money and how does it influence her relationship with it at this moment? Where does she self-sabotage? What are the ambiguities and uncertainties in her relationship with money? Her use of treasure will reflect them.

For understanding personal relationships with money, we must be aware of contexts. Culture, family, and experiences all filter through to the individual's value systems and goals. This is a process of self-discovery. Numerous tools are available for help. For homework, this process can include work on "Money Autobiography," questions designed to elicit priorities, available at my Web site www.worthliving.com. It might also include the exercises suggested by George Kinder in his book, "Seven Stages of Money Maturity" or Bill Bachrach's book "Values Based Selling." The emerging literature for coaches, self-help and spiritual growth also provides excellent tools for these sorts of inquiries.

For example, the "Money Autobiogra-phy" consists of looking intently at questions exploring one's money history. Examples: "What is your first memory of money?" "What is your cultural heritage?" "How did your forebears make important decisions-like coming to America or making the move from country to city?" "How did your parents deal with money?" "Was money a source of stress in your family?" Ask the same questions of partners. The answers inevitably yield data rich for understanding values and goals.

To fully benefit from any of these explorations, it is imperative they are addressed in writing, preferably long hand, which enables a wonderful mind/body/spirit connection. Personally, I recommended people first answer these questions individually. However, many people relate that they have enjoyed the experience of sharing their work with their significant others.

Finally, no exercise in understanding can be complete without fully grasping the tools available. This means fully perceiving articulated needs, getting a handle on resources and then synthesizing the process into a cohesive whole. In other words, understanding necessarily engages the traditional financial-planning process.

Obviously, the numbers must make sense. This process is what Susan Bradley calls "Reality Check" in her book, Sudden Money. Money forces us to examine our priorities. As money skills do not come naturally to humans, neither are there any built-in controls on our "wants." In theory, our wants could be nearly unlimited. Of course, matching needs and priorities with assets and resources brings us full circle back to Matthew 6:21.

Remember that our definition of "treasure" includes "time" and "talent" in addition to "money." When checking reality, we must understand that a so-called "net worth statement" will not accurately reflect the full extent of financial resources or potential demands. If assets are those tangible and intangible pieces of life that stand between the individual and financial disaster, we need to look at all aspects of the client's life. These include earning power together with self-control, knowledge, experience and other intangible resources. Brains count. Muscles count. Habits count. Opportunities and connections count. Talents count.

Likewise, there can be financial drains that do not show up. Physical infirmities, family responsibilities, personal longevity and natural disasters are all part of an individual's reality. Write them down and understand the ones that do not have immediate answers. Life is not linear.

"Resources" also include productive assets. For example, for most of us, our primary resource is our ability to generate income. Yet, business interests or career potential may be worth much more than could conceivably be reflected on a balance sheet. Realistically anticipatable inheritances also count. Finally, family, community and other relationships can provide trustworthy security within the various possibilities for personal disaster. They also do more for quality of life than miscellaneous pieces of paper formally covered with ink.

Goals are the essence of financial planning. Treasure is the resource with which we work. Stewardship is the synthesis of our treasure with our heart's core. Stewardship reflects the integration of our values with our treasure.

At some point in our lives, most of us dream of finding treasure. We look at the mountains and know there is gold in them 'thar hills. Or we gaze into the ocean and think of ancient galleons, gold doubloons and precious stones. Or it may be something much simpler. As young children, it might be our romantic meanderings of our lives to be. As adults, we strive poignantly for lives that are continuing sources of joy. At its finest, the financial-advisory process integrates treasure with the heart's core. When we do it right, we know.

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

With our help, treasure and heart can be right where they should be.