One of the biggest challenges facing the financial services industry is how to add more personal value to retirement planning conversations and strategies. I know this because it’s what I get paid to do. Teach other financial professionals how to move from purely financial questions to more personal conversations in order to deepen the relationship and add more value.

Earlier this year, I spent a full 10 hours training a group of advisors on what I call the Power 20—a detailed list of 20 questions and answers they can use to overcome the hurdles many of them have in switching gears and adding a more holistic approach to their discussion about what’s next after retirement. 

To my surprise, the advisors took to the questions like ducks to water. We spent time identifying the goals of each question and building a framework to help clients think more deeply about the nonfinancial side of retirement. Then we took time to role-play to help them feel more comfortable in this new situation. I was a little surprised at the response the questions got. I expected some push back or worries about getting too personal with clients, but the overwhelming response was, “We are doing a disservice if we aren’t using information like this to better educate our clients on the realities of the transition.”

As I have done more training sessions and conference presentations on topics related to the psychology and philosophy of retirement, I have come to the realization that no one has ever taught them how to use these soft skills, let alone monetize them. This is important because before I became a financial advisor, I knew very little about money or investing. I grew up a blue-collar kid in Detroit with the most prominent financial guidance being that “money doesn’t grow on trees.” One of my most memorable financial lessons came right before becoming a financial professional when I decided to start trading some hot internet stocks in the late '90s.

Now I don’t want to brag, but the $200 I scrapped together to start investing almost doubled in two weeks. So, I decided to lock in my gains and sell the portfolio. The only problem was, back then it was only $10 to buy a stock but $15 to sell it. So, when it was all said and done, the trading fees not only ate a portion of my initial investment but basically chewed up most of my profits from the sale. No doubt, I wish someone would have sat down with me and explained the finer details of the investment world.

The same holds true for the nonfinancial aspects of retirement, both advisors and clients need to be trained or walked down this new path for them to not only understand it but also apply it. Therefore, I want to share an abbreviated version from my Power 20 questions and strategies to help financial professionals wake up to the amazing potential they have to impact a client’s personal life and legacy.

1) Do you think we need to retire the word retirement? Talk about a simple lay-up question to get the ball rolling. Right now, more than ever, people don’t like the word retirement. They assume it means done, old, out to pasture and irrelevant. A set of images no retiree wants to be attached to. Therefore, by simply asking their opinion on such a hot and pressing topic, you will not only get a glimpse into what they don’t like about the old image, but also a sense of what their definition of retirement is.

2) How will you know if you are winning in retirement? This is one of my favorite questions because most people, including advisors have no idea on how to answer it, which is the whole point (i.e., to get people thinking in different terms about life after work). Fact is, we all know how to win at work, golf, volleyball and even with our health and relationships. But helping a client understand how to win at retirement is better than the magic of compounding interest. Hint: It has very little to do with money.

3) How has Covid served as a precursor for what retirement might look and feel like? This is another low barrier, training wheels type question that won’t shock a client or make them wonder why you’re asking more personal questions all of a sudden. Unlike the previous question, most clients will have an immediate answer to this one, which may not always be what you expect. All to often we have heard the horror stories of being in lock-down and spending 24 hours a day with a spouse, kids or annoying neighbor.

However, some couples and families have thrived through the pandemic and grown closer together.  Furthermore, people who once thought they would travel more in retirement, may now feel different about it because of how they were impacted by the last couple years. Either way, the answers they provide will give advisors extra insight into what makes a client tick and happy.

4) What would be your guess as to why some people fail at retirement? Knowing how to win at retirement isn’t enough. Advisors and clients also need to know why people fail at it, and the harsh reality is, the main reason isn’t financial. It’s personal. In fact, most human misery is self-inflicted and not economic in nature. Whether its loss of identity, feeling isolated, watching too much TV or drinking every day, raising a client’s awareness around common problems and traps can go a long way in helping them stay happy, healthy and connected.

5) Most people are aware of what they will gain in retirement, but what will you lose? Pushing the conversation a little further, this question helps highlight one of the biggest issues with retirement.  The fact that you lose more than you gain. Yes, clients are looking forward to more freedom and time, but they are losing routine, social interactions, mental stimulus, physical activity and more. All of which need to be replaced with something else or a dark side to retirement can creep in and cause them to regress or fail in their transition.  

The key opportunity here is to not only to have a few pocket questions to ask, but more so, discussion points that help an advisor to carry on conversations with clients that positions them as an expert in more than just the financial aspects of retirement.

That being said, please don’t kid yourself. Five questions aren’t enough, and these can’t be part of a “one and done” type process. Non-financial discussions need to become a natural part of the meeting process each time a client comes in so that you continue to build rapport and deepen the relationship. For many advisors, this is where the so-called soft-side sticks a thorn in their side. They don’t mind getting personal, but they don’t want to become a client’s therapist or counselor.

Thankfully, I totally agree so instead of going back to school for a MSW, I suggest using regular non-financial content to support your efforts to embrace new retirement planning conversations. Now I have been doing this for about 10 years by simply writing a nonfinancial article (about 400 words) on the back side of my monthly newsletter. For example, here’s an excerpt to a story I used a little while back.

“It looks so nice… good call on the new mirrors,” is what I said to my wife. We had recently moved into a new home and one of her first design changes was to remove a long, gaudy mirror in our bathroom. She wanted to replace it with two new ones that were much more her style. 

Then next morning, I grabbed my shaving cream and was set to lather up my face, when I was confronted with an unexpected situation. I couldn’t see my reflection in the mirror. We only had one sink and without giving it much thought, we placed the two new mirrors on either side of it.

I called out to my wife laughing. “You’re not going to believe this,” I said. “We put the mirrors in a place I can’t see to shave.” We both sat there dumbfounded that it didn’t cross our minds when we were hanging the mirrors.

If any of you have taken on a design or remodel project, then you know where this is going. The plan wasn’t to take down the new mirrors and put the ugly one back up. Instead, she wanted a second sink and a new countertop. Like that, we went from a small makeover to a full-blown renovation.

This is important for a couple reasons. First, many people approach retirement like it’s a small makeover when in fact, it’s a major and costly renovation. There are no simple fixes or easy replacements.  Furthermore, it takes time and a lot of effort to make a successful transition…and as many of you know, when it comes to construction, one problem can lead to another causing delays and extra costs. This is exactly what happens to people in retirement…

There are a couple key points to consider here. First, it gives my clients a glimpse into my own personal life, which creates a mutual connection. Second, I use stories like this as a metaphor for retirement with the goal of getting them to think differently on their own, and then as an easy way for us to have something nonfinancial to talk about when they come in. Therefore, you don’t have to have 100 pre-set questions ready or stress over what nonfinancial topic you’re going to discuss every time a client comes in. You can simply use your personal life to make connections with them.

Overall, there is a significant shift taking place in the financial services industry. Clients are ready to take their advisory relationships to the next level to include more aspects of their personal life. As a result, proactive advisors have the opportunity to develop new skills to not only lead the charge and change our industry for the better but also have a deeper, more personal impact on a client’s life and legacy.

Robert Laura is a best-selling author, nationally syndicated columnist, and president of Wealth & Wellness Group. He is a seasoned conference speaker, corporate trainer and founder of The Certified Professional Retirement Coach Designation, which focuses on the non-financial aspects of life after work. He can be reached at [email protected].