“I’m okay…I’m good to go… It’s fine…” were all responses I gave my football coaches and trainers in order to avoid admitting I was hurt and needed to come out of the game. Whether I had just run head-on into another player, took a shot to the ribs or got chopped blocked at my knees, I was taught from a young age to be a warrior—to hide the pain and discomfort, to play through a concussion or other injury, to never admit defeat and to do whatever it took to win. I loved the game and gladly accepted the warriors code.
Decades later, I have come to terms, as many other athletes have, that this tough guy, play-on-no-matter-what attitude comes at a price—a significant cost to your long-term physical and mental health. While great strides have been made in the game of football regarding helmet-to-helmet contact and concussion awareness, the same cannot be said for the game of retirement, where a similar code exists especially for men. The current retirement planning culture encourages many head of households to focus on their careers and to do whatever it takes to support their family, while sacrificing many personal things in exchange for a future retirement.
Ask any guy whose 50+ on how things are going with work and family, and you’ll get a warrior’s response, “It’s good… Everything is fine…Can’t complain...” They have accepted the everyday grind but don’t realize they are taking hits to their social life, family relationships and physical well-being. They are taking blows to the head and heart that can cause major problems later on in life when they don’t have their work life, team or identity to help them keep things together.
As financial professionals, we are uniquely positioned to help change this culture, and it starts by no longer allowing clients to compartmentalize their retirement plans. We can no longer allow men to stay in the game without warning them that their financial and career focus may inhibit their ability to thrive in retirement. In a nutshell, that means getting educated on more than just modern portfolio theory, the 4 percent rule and flooring for retirement income.
This process starts with research and science to raise awareness. When it comes to football, we have all come to learn that there is a correlation between repeated head injuries and later health difficulties. Years of head trauma can lead to a brain disease commonly referred to as CTE or Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE). Symptoms can include dementia, memory loss and depression.
As a result of this research, the culture of the game has changed. Coaches and players have not only had to adapt to the issue, but many parents are also opting to either pull kids from the sport or delay the age at which they strap on a helmet. There was even a major motion picture titled, Concussion starring Will Smith done on the topic.
But when it comes to retirement, advisors remain unaware of similar correlations or problems that can affect a client’s body, brain or their overall well-being. Therefore, it’s more important than ever that we begin to use the science and research available to us to better educate our clients as they move towards a retirement decision.
For example, right now, we know that 20 of the 43 most stressful life events can come near or in the early phases of retirement. But most advisors have no knowledge of this, nor do they have the tools and resources to help clients deal with them. Even more frightening is the harsh reality that retirement by itself is number 10 on the list and comes from what is called the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale.
Research also tells us that in order for people to thrive and feel positive about their use of time and role, they need three positive emotions for every one negative emotion. It’s referred to as a positivity ratio and comes to us from the world of Positive Psychology. Truth is, most people, especially retired men, fall short of the ratio and can be blindsided by negative emotions in retirement, leaving them feeling alone and suffering in silence.
Just as the suicide deaths of football greats Dave Duerson and Junior Seau pushed the issue into the spotlight, calling for more research and change, some advisors may be surprised to hear that suicide rates are highest among people over the age of 65. According to the American Association of Suicidology (AAS). The 65+ age group makes up 12.5 percent of the population, yet accounts for 15.9 percent of all suicides. White men over than age 65 take their own life at almost triple the overall rate and are eight times more likely to kill themselves than women in the same age group.
You would think that suicide deaths of major celebrities who were retirement age such as Robin Williams (63), Anthony Bordaine (61), Kate Spade (55) would help raise awareness around the issue, but the topic continues to get swept under the rug. I understand that it’s a sensitive topic, but we can’t afford to keep ignoring it.
Additionally, we have access to one of the most extensive studies on retirement wellness through the Harvard Study of Adult Development. It tracked the lives of over 700 men for some 75 years and concludes that people who are more socially connected to family, friends and community are happier, physically healthier and live longer than people who are less well connected.
Researchers also found that strong relationships play a role in protecting brain function. Participants who reported feeling “securely attached,” meaning they could count on another person in times of need, had their memories stay sharper for longer, while those in an insecure situation, experienced earlier memory decline.
Long story short, we know that there is more to a successful retirement transition than financial products and services and it’s our responsibility to not only communicate that to client’s but to help them plan for it. Of course, that’s easier said than done.
After all, the NFL’s best players didn’t quit once they heard about the link between CTC and playing the game. Furthermore, just because people are more aware of certain issues, it doesn’t automatically eliminate them. In fact, a recent report suggests that NFL players were diagnosed with more concussions in 2017 than in any season since the league began sharing the data (2012). The report stated that there were 281 reported concussions during the preseason and regular season, including practices. The previous high was 275 in 2015.
Therefore, I don’t expect every advisor who reads this article to run out and completely change everything that they are doing. However, we have to start building a new framework to help clients better understand all aspects of the retirement decision-making process.
That means finding ways to integrate aspects of Positive Psychology and Behavioral Economics into client conversations. It’s a crucial step for a couple reasons. First, it provides credibility in terms of infusing the latest social science and evidenced-based research into the decision-making process.
This is so important because for too long, advisors have downplayed the need to develop new knowledge and skills as it pertains to the softer side of planning. But times are changing. Just as football coaches and players had to accept new techniques and realities, advisors and their clients must do the same thing. The new culture of retirement planning will not only go beyond the dollars and cents, it will also emphasize the need to play the game of life in a way that allows men to strike a better balance between work and the things that will keep them healthy and connected for years to come.
Second, building a better framework for retirement planning will help break the warrior code by giving people permission to talk about their struggles after leaving work. By bringing it out of the shadows and helping clients develop a written plan to address all the factors that can and will have an impact on their life after work, they can be positioned to make more informed decisions, and ideally create smoother transitions. That doesn’t mean everything will goes as planned or just automatically take shape, but this is the starting point for facilitating change in our industry and how we serve clients.
Overall, it’s time to break the warrior’s mentality that surrounds retirement. We need to take the issues that can cause men to struggle with the transition head-on and develop new ways and resources to help them find deep satisfaction with both the personal and financial aspects of the retirement planning game.
Robert Laura is the president of the Wealth & Wellness Group, the founder of RetirementProject.org and pioneer in Certified Retirement Coach training. He can be reached at [email protected].