Most practice management experts agree that the best advisor-client relationships are based on trust. If that exists, a client or prospective client is less likely to place importance on what would otherwise be a long list of determining factors, including the advisors’ investment solution options, the quality of the technology offerings and even fees.

Mindful of this, some advisors try hard to seem “folksy” during their interactions with clients and prospects in an attempt to create an aura of authenticity. Investors, they believe, want to do business with a real person, someone, in other words, they can trust. But there’s a fine line, because what one person finds authentic another might say smacks of insincerity or unprofessionalism. 

All of which brings me to what a mentor said to me years ago: “Every time you get the opportunity to talk to a client, you either gain credibility or you lose it — there’s no in between.”

To this day, it’s the best, most sage advice I’ve ever received about this industry when it comes to conversation killing phrases with clients and prospects, and how advisors can best avoid them.

In a special, invitation-only session at the annual national meeting for HD Vest Financial Services, CONNECT16, held in Washington, D.C., a panel of experts among independent advisors, broker-dealer executives and industry coaches discussed how independent advisors can approach each conversation with a prospect or existing client, paying special attention to the specific phrases and words they use.

While many of these phrases may seem harmless when they come out of your mouth, a poorly selected word has the potential to stifle any exchange and, thus, do damage to your credibility.

Here are some examples:

• “Is there anything else?” or “Is that it?” Though a common way to end a meeting or wrap up a phone call, not only could framing a question like this be considered impolite and too casual, but neither is likely to induce much of a response. They are essentially away lines. Instead, try “What else would you like to discuss today?” It’s open-ended, which is both an invitation to speak more freely and a subtle reminder that they have your undivided attention for as long as they need it. If the client or prospect has been looking for an opportunity to have a broader conversation, it is during these unexpected times when it can happen, making it easier for you to gain a greater appreciation of what it will take to best serve them moving forward.  

• Questions that begin with “why.” Think about it: The word “why” almost always has the potential put someone on the defensive. In a primal way, it goes back to childhood. "Why didn’t you take out the trash?!" Instead, use “what” or “how.” If, for instance, there is a question about why a client or prospect’s previous advisor placed them in a particular investment vehicle say, “What were you hoping to accomplish with this investment?” The alternative — “Why did you do this?” — could be considered patronizing or make it seem like you are questioning their intelligence or judgment.

• Presenting too many options. As part of a study regarding the psychology of personal choice, researchers Sheena Iyengar and Mark Lepper set up a grocery store display featuring 24 different varieties of gourmet jam. Then, they came back another day to same spot in the store but this time only set out six. While the display showing 24 jams generated more initial interest among consumers, the one with just six resulted in more sales. It led them to conclude that 24 choices was overload, ultimately finding that when people trying to make a decision are presented with too many options, often they won’t make a decision at all. Clients are like this, too. They come to you for your expert advice. So while it’s undoubtedly important, for example, to have access to a wide range of investment options to help meet their needs, work to narrow those down based on your expertise. Then put it in the client’s hands and allow them to make a decision.

• “What are your hopes and dreams for retirement?” Since the financial crisis, the average investor is much more concerned with safety and security versus fulfilling their hopes and dreams. Prolonged market volatility and a near collapse of the global economy will do that. Sure, travelling the world, combing beaches and playing golf every day sounds great, but that’s no longer immediately achievable in the view of many. Instead, in today's environment, the advisor may be best off asking clients and prospects what their expectations are for retirement.  Then from there, the advisor can build a realistic, goal-based plan that can be benchmarked over time. If their situation improves, great — you’ll be able to make adjustments.

• Talking extensively about product performance. When you talk too much about how a particular product has performed, you are positioning yourself as a retailer. People don’t have relationships with retailers; they have relationships with people. Today, investors can easily find someone to sell them investment products, meaning no prospect or existing client needs you to do that for them. What they do need, however, are the services and insights you provide. Act and talk like an investment and financial planning professional, not a retailer selling investment products that can be found anywhere.

Everybody is familiar with the old cliche “You never get a second chance to make a first impression." For advisors, they should broaden that to understand every interaction with a client or a prospect is like a first impression, and you better make the most of each one — or it could cost you.

To that end, always be mindful of what you say, using words and phrases that invite more interaction and compels them to open up more about what they believe, think and feel. You’ll win more business and establish more loyal client relationships that way.

Dawn Drewitz is a senior business consultant at HD Vest Investment Services, the Irving, Texas-based independent broker-dealer.