The fact is that women feel left out. Many relationships are out of balance. That is why Kingsbury said 75% of women fire their advisor within a few years of the death of their spouse. It is a shockingly high number, but also proof that advisors need to do a better job of focusing on women.
Challenges Working With Couples
Even if advisors focus on balance, it can still be difficult to service two very different people at the same time. Kingsbury shared these typical differences between males and females:
Men Women
? Individualistic ? Connected
? Competitive ? Collaborative
? Independent learner by doing ? Group learner by observing and discussing
Kingsbury said that when advisors are in the same room with couples they need to balance both needs at the same time, which is tricky. For example, men want the advisor to be an expert and women want the advisor to be a coach.
"Not everyone fits into these stereotypes," Kingsbury said. However, they do serve as a starting point for learning more about traditional couples.
Interestingly, Moriarty said that same-sex couples sometimes take on some of these traditional roles.
The Value Of Couples Planners
Moriarty cited a Fidelity statistic: "Fifty-seven percent of couples don't agree when they need to retire." Clear evidence, Moriarty said, that a majority of couples will have to work out issues.
Working with advisors "gets them talking," she said. "They talk about money less than sex." She added, "Advisors can reset the triangle" and keep the clients in balance.
Mistakes to avoid when working with couples:
Do not meet with just one person in the relationship.
Do not just talk to one person on the phone.
Do not just e-mail one person.
Do not count on a message to be shared with the other person.
Do not forget to set expectations in the initial meeting.
Do not forget to let both people answer questions.
Do not get stuck in the middle if the clients decide to divorce.
Do not forget facts and feelings are very different.
Key Takeaways
The presenters left the attendees with a few final messages. "We want you to listen with all your ears," Moriarty said. "Make sure you give the feedback like you are listening."
Advisors that work with couples benefit from making sure the decision maker is present, creating long-lasting relationships (even if one person dies) and gaining from increased referrals. When it comes to referrals, woman give twice as many referrals as compared to men, so there is a real reason to connect with women, not just the men, in couple relationships.
Mike Byrnes founded Byrnes Consulting to provide consulting services to help advisors become even more successful. His expertise is in business planning, marketing strategy, business development, client service and management effectiveness, along with several other areas. Read more at www.byrnesconsulting.com.