Financial advisors have been bound by confidentiality for a long time. How can you turn your inability to speak about or acknowledge client relationships into a business advantage? It’s not that difficult.

Confidentiality comes into the conversation when someone says: “I don’t do business with friends because word gets around.” That’s one of several gateways for positioning confidentiality as a virtue.

1. In good company. When explaining that financial advisors do not talk about their clients, you can mention doctors, lawyers and accountants are bound by the same rules. You might position it as: “Like doctors and lawyers, financial advisors do not talk about the identities of their clients.”
Rationale: Medicine, accounting and law are considered respected professions. By using client confidentiality as a common factor, you are placing yourself into the same category.

2. When past performance is a guide to the future. Suppose someone says: “I don’t do business with friends because word gets around.” You might say: “We have known each other for five years. We know many of the same people. It’s possible one or more might be clients. In five years, I have never mentioned the name of another person in the context of being a client. I am not going to start now.”
Rationale: They might know some people who are clients because those friends brought up your name as their advisor. This person will think back and realize you have never brought up their name as a client.

3. Two different standards. Remind someone about client confidentiality. “I might be doing a great job for you. I cannot tell anyone. We are bound by client confidentiality. You are not held to the same rule. If I am doing a great job and you are happy, you can tell as many people as you like. I would even encourage you to do that.”
Rationale: Let’s assume your client is happy with the relationship. You are asking them to tell others, to send referrals because you cannot toot your own horn.

4. Role reversal. Now suppose a friend is fundraising for a charity. One of your clients is a prospect. They know that person is your client because the client revealed the relationship. They ask how much money they have. You explain you cannot talk about clients or their identities. Now give them a hypothetical situation: “Suppose you were a client and someone came to me asking the same question. Would you be OK with me tell them how much money you have?” The answer will be no.
Rationale: The friend thinks sharing that information is only bending the rules slightly. When you change the roles, their desire for complete privacy becomes apparent.

5. How did you two meet? Someone is considering becoming a client. They assume word will get around somehow. They respect you and know you cannot lie. They wonder how you would answer an indirect question concerning your connection. I would explain: “Suppose someone mentions the name of a person we know in common, where there is a client relationship. Let’s assume they ask: “How did the two of you meet? What’s the connection.” I find it easy to explain “We met downtown.” It answers the question, but it’s vague enough to include the gym or several other places our paths might have crossed.
Rationale: The other person realizes you have a prepared answer that deflects the question and preserved the confidentiality of the relationship.

6. Acknowledging referrals. This is a balancing act. If a client or a friend sends someone to you, it is polite to thank them for the referral. As a prospect or new client, you also want to respect confidentiality. You might tell the friend: “Thank you for sending (name) in my direction. It was nice meeting them.” You can stop there.
Rationale: You have not gone into specifics about what you talked about or if they became a client. If they circle back to their friend, they might say you acknowledged both of you spoke, but nothing more.

If you develop a reputation as someone who follows the rules, it works in your favor. When people entrust you with personal information, they want to know it won’t go any further into the community.

Bryce Sanders is president of Perceptive Business Solutions Inc. He provides HNW client acquisition training for the financial services industry. His book Captivating the Wealthy Investor is available on Amazon.