It’s a long-term relationship. Many advisors want clients to work with them for a long time. Your role is complicated. Sometimes you are an investment advisor, friend and life coach all rolled into one package. You might say “I want to limit my role,” yet if clients ask for help you want to at least point them in the right direction. Yet certain signals can alert you that all is not well in paradise.

1. Your older client disappears from view. This can be incredibly serious. It’s not simply “going dark,” it’s when you start to look in the obituary pages for their name. You have issues with client confidentiality.

Problem: Confirming something terrible hasn’t happened to your client.

Approach: Firms are starting to anticipate this issue by allowing clients to identify a trusted contact, someone the firm can contact if you are concerned about the client or activity in their account. That’s one solution. Suppose one isn’t on file. Let your manager know. This has likely happened with other clients before. Try multiple communication channels. Visit their home. Try sending mail that requires a signature to accept. Without violating confidentiality, discretely ask relatives if the client is OK. They might be hospitalized.

2. Spouses start behaving strangely. This can happen in cases of divorce. Assets are often held in JTWROs status. The concern is one half of the couple doesn’t clear out the account.

Problem: Protecting both clients and yourself from legal liability while also complying with rules about accepting instructions from clients.

Approach: This is another conversation with your manager. When there is a court order in place for a pending divorce the procedures are pretty clear. Transactions and withdrawals likely require the approval of both parties. In this case your concern is beforehand when one party acts out of character, such as wanting everything sold and converted into cash. You represent the interests of both parties. Ask questions. “Does (name) agree with these instructions? Let’s get them on the phone.” They might get upset, but if they hang up, you know something was probably wrong. Inform your compliance manager immediately.

3. Your client starts creating distance. They don’t engage with you as they did previously. They are polite, but there is no banter. 

Problem: You’ve seen this in relationships. It’s a warning a breakup is on the horizon.

Approach: Acknowledge something is on their mind. Suggest getting together to talk it through. Once face to face, a good conversation starter is, “Things haven’t been good lately…” Let them carry the conversation. After they’ve finished and you’ve made some comments, ask: “What can we do to move forward?”

4. Your client’s spouse doesn’t like you. You can tell. They are frosty. You hear them cover the receiver and say “YOUR broker is on the phone.” You can imagine behind the scenes they are asking: “Why do you insist on staying with her?”

Problem: Your main point of contact will move the account to keep peace in the family.

Approach: This assumes the assets are held JTWROS. When your contact person isn’t home, make your call so you will reach the spouse instead. Acknowledge they have concerns. “We need to talk. I may not be the right advisor for you.” Schedule a meeting with both parties present. Focus the majority of your attention on the concerned spouse. Have all the investment related answers at your fingertips. Show respect. I credit a Texas advisor with this approach.

5.Complains about fees. They talk in big numbers, not percentages. “Why am I paying $15,000 a year for you to manage my money? What do you actually do?” Lets also add: “How much is this going to cost me?”

Problem: Your client is either prospected by a competitor or reading about online free trading.

Solution: Hopefully it’s been a good year. Comparing portfolio appreciation vs. fees paid shows they did well taking your advice, which has a cost. Explain the investment process, showing the transaction to purchase (or sell) securities is a small part of the process. Review your relationship over the years, mentioning ways to have helped them.

Be alert for signals. Don’t assume there isn’t an issue until the client tells you there is one.

Bryce Sanders is president of Perceptive Business Solutions Inc. He provides HNW client acquisition training for the financial services industry. His book, “Captivating the Wealthy Investor” can be found on Amazon.