I was getting ready to wrap up for the day when my cell phone rang. A client’s name came up and something inside said, “Don’t answer it, just let it...”

However, before I finished the thought my finger swiped across the screen, and after the normal pleasantries, the simple question of “How’s it going?,” got very complex.

“Well, I think I really screwed up, and I don’t know what to do,” said the client. “We’re getting ready to sell our house and started looking around; and we found one we really liked up north and put in an offer.”

I chimed in, “Well that’s exciting…” but was cut short as he continued on.

“It’s the perfect house for us, with a great deck overlooking the lake, but now I’m regretting the decision because it’s over budget, and I just found out I can’t get a mortgage because I took some short-term disability, plus I don’t want to be penny pinching the rest of our retirement or have to go back to work.” 

It felt like a tennis match between his thoughts. One minute it’s the perfect house, the next he wants to find a way to walk away from it. It’s a classic example of how doubt can hijack a client’s dreams in retirement. 

That makes it important for advisors to understand the role that doubt can play in retirement. In its most basic format, it can be defined as a feeling of uncertainty about something or someone, or having difficulty believing in something. It’s a normal part of life and isn’t always bad or negative. In fact, it can be used as motivation to get better prepared for a situation or used to avoid a rash or emotional decision. However, it becomes problematic when it paralyzes a client from taking action.

Sad part is, many times doubt is a symptom of what we do as an industry and profession. You see when we use fear to illustrate what will happen to clients if they don’t save a certain amount, in a certain type of account, and within a certain time frame, we position ourselves as an overbearing parent who instills in a child what they won’t be or can’t do instead of what they can be, and should not give up on. 

In other words, we spend years telling them to keep their hand out of the cookie jar and that if they go into the cookie jar without asking, bad things will happen. Occasionally, they are allowed to have a small treat, but its limited to make sure they don’t run out of cookies or get an upset tummy. This is exactly what was happening to my clients. They were afraid to reach into their savings and pull out some extra cookies. 

But that’s what doubt and fear do. They drain creativity and zap positive energy. They’re unhealthy foods for the mind that can drag down a client’s spirit and ambitions by crippling their ability to make decisions that can benefit their overall well-being. Essentially, it cheats clients out of living their ideal life in retirement. 

Doubt shows up in retirement in a number of ways. First, with clients needing to believe they can actually afford to retire. This is evident in survey after survey which reflects increasing pessimism about one’s ability to stop working. Whether they doubt their ability to retire because they feel behind in their retirement savings, because of rising health-care costs, or a declining ability to do their job, convincing people they have enough to retire is a challenging task.    

Doubt also shows up when it comes time for clients to start dipping into their retirement savings. So many people have been programmed to save and sacrifice, that they have trouble altering their mindset to start living the life that they deserve. This is the most prevalent form of doubt because people have this voice in the back of their head constantly saying don’t do that, don’t touch that money… you’ll run out of money, have to go back to work, or be a burden on family.

That makes it essential for advisors to have strategies to help clients recognize and overcome the doubts that can show up in retirement. One way to do this is by telling clients that there are always two answers to every financial question: A financial answer and a personal answer. 

By simply reframing the question like this, advisors expose clients to new thoughts and ideas, allowing them to see different perspectives on the situation instead of one limiting factor. For example, we’ve all heard the question, “Should I pay off my mortgage or invest the money?” One could argue that it makes sense to invest the money into the market rather than paying off a mortgage right now because home loan rates are so low and markets have performed well in recent years.

Why pay off a 4 percent mortgage loan when markets are turning in double-digits returns, right?  

However, if a client hates debt and making monthly payments, the decision to invest the funds rather than pay it off may cause internal conflict. From a client’s well-being perspective, less stress may be more valuable than a few extra dollars in their pocket.

Another way to adjust a client’s mindset and help them overcome doubt and fear is to use client stories that can jolt their thoughts and feelings. Oftentimes, that means talking about clients that have passed away. 

Mortality isn’t the most popular retirement theme, but it can be used in a way to help clients focus more on what they have and can do right now instead of postponing it and assuming it will be available or possible later on.

I used this strategy with my client who was worried about buying his dream home. After we talked numbers for a minute, I told him about a client who retired at age 62 and lived pretty frugally. Together, we played golf a couple times a year during which we would talk about life. He would say how he planned to build a pole barn, visit Australia, and maybe even start heading down to Florida to escape the cold and to visit family. He put them all off for six years and died at 68. A simple check-up revealed that cancer had ravaged his body and he was gone in less than three months.   

Stories like these cause clients to stop and reflect and turn the fear of not using their assets into a fear of running out of time and living a life they deserve.

Another big reason why clients struggle with doubt is because they have lost hold of their core values—the things that are most important to them. As professionals, we all know and understand the role that values can play in our lives as well as our clients. The problem is, most advisors don’t have a process or mechanism for extracting a client’s core values. 

Uncovering a client’s deepest beliefs and values isn’t as easy as slapping a few new questions in your intake folder or data gathering process, simply because it will feel out of place and won’t hold any weight.  Furthermore, values can change as people retire and transition from work-life to home-life. So it’s not a one-time discussion. As a result advisors, need new tools and skills to integrate factors like these into the more traditional retirement planning processes.

I think Walt Disney said it best, “When your values are clear, your decisions are easy.”  The same holds true for clients in retirement who are battling a tough decision. By helping a client find the personal value they will gain with such a decision, they can quit that voice in their head and not regret the decisions.

In the case of my client, the new home on the lake would provide additional time with the kids and grandkids, a spare room for an aging parent to stay or live, and the opportunity to stay active with water sports and other activities. All things that they value. 

Overall, doubt is an inevitable part of life in retirement, and oftentimes shows up as a result of the messaging our industry sends our clients. Therefore, advisors need to be prepared for when it shows up in their office or on the phone to make sure it doesn’t sabotage a client’s ideal life in retirement.

Robert Laura is the president of SYNERGOS Financial Group, the founder of RetirementProject.org and the creator of the Retirement Wellness Marketing Program for Advisors. He can be reached at [email protected].