Have you ever been so inspired by someone or something that it created both joy and a sense of fear at the same time?

Several years ago, I was attending my first conference as a newly minted financial professional when I met a veteran advisor who would change my path in the industry and the way I approach retirement planning. 

I sat at a table with him on day one, and we hit it off right away. Over the next couple of days, we chatted during breaks and lunch. Then on the second day, he casually asked me, “So where do you see your practice going over the next three to five years?”

I was hesitant to respond because frankly, I just wanted to make sure I would still be in the business. During training, it was pounded into my head that only about 20 percent of people who start in this business can hack it for that long.

I mustered up the courage to share the one goal I did have—to make six figures, which was a staggering amount of money considering that I grew up in a blue collar, middle-class family in Detroit. 

So, I said, “My goal is to make $100,000 and hire some junior advisors to run my practice.” 

I tried to say it confidently and like I was almost there, but a part of me felt a little insecure about the real possibility of reaching that level.

Up until that point in my career, I had been blindly following a traditional path set by others, but all that was about to change.

Much to my surprise, the veteran advisor didn’t respond the way I expected him to, or frankly wanted him to.  He didn’t say, “That’s a good goal,” or “If you work hard you can get there.”

He said, “Why are you setting your goals so low, and limiting your potential to just money?”

The room suddenly went silent and my mind began to race. I thought to myself, “Are you crazy, no one thinks that making $100,000 a year is too small of a goal…and what the heck do you mean, don’t limit your real potential to just money?” 

I was speechless and felt completely blindsided by his words. I wasn’t sure if I should be scared or excited.

It was the first time, someone gave me permission to step off the beaten path and to think beyond the dollars and cents of life. I was encouraged to thrive instead of merely survive or accept the status quo. 

I think something similar needs to happen in retirement planning. We need more creativity, imagination and pattern-interrupting conversations. We need to move the needle of retirement planning from merely functioning in retirement to flourishing during it.

This is significant for advisors to comprehend because the advice world is changing—no, not because of robo-advisors or fiduciary rules, but because of Positive Psychology. 

The Positive Psychology movement started in the late 1990s when Martin Seligman pushed members of the American Psychological Association to study human flourishing instead of the more traditional focus on disease and deficiency. What has resulted, is a growing field focused on helping people lead meaningful and fulfilling lives, through the principle of PERMA: Positive Emotion, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning and Accomplishment. In other words, scientific evidence on how to move people from simply functioning to actually thriving. 

Positive Psychology is quickly becoming a key aspect of retirement planning as many of the tools, research and literature can easily be applied to successful aging and life in retirement. As a result, it emphasizes the need for advisors to get more soft-skills training. 

I personally despise the term soft skills because it implies something meek, easy or touchy-feely. In practice, a better description for them would be, applications of psychology, or in this case Positive Psychology. The reality is, as financial professionals we need to be encouraging our clients to invest in themselves, their mind, body, spirit and relationships. And the more we can use science and evidence-based tools to improve the lives of our clients, the more credibility we add to the profession, not to mention the value we add to the planning process.     

One example of this at work is something referred to as the positivity ratio. Just as advisors use the 4 percent rule as a talking point for retirement withdrawals, the positivity ratio can serve as a foundation for managing emotions in retirement. Research suggests that in order for people to thrive and feel positive about their use of time and role, they need three positive emotions for every one negative emotion. We all know that negative emotions are more powerful and potent than positive emotions, so they need to be counterbalanced by more positive emotions.

Unfortunately, most people, especially those that are retired, fall short of the 3:1 ratio. Truth is, clients can be blindsided by negative emotions in retirement and feel insecure about their identity and future. With fewer things to do and less contact with others, they need specific strategies to increase the number of positive emotions they experience in order to feel satisfied with life.

Therefore, helping clients create a meaningful retirement, means helping them develop relationships, activities and hobbies that foster positive emotions. This can be accomplished with a series of planning questions that highlight the people, things and situations that inspire clients. Such as:

• What makes you feel inspired, on top of the world,or unstoppable?

• Which activities make you feel alive?

• When are you at your best and in the zone?

• Where is your happy place?

• Which family members, friends or colleagues energize you?

The whole idea is to be able to make clients aware of the need to infuse their life with these things but also help them maximize their resources (retirement savings) toward aspects of PERMA. Including things that foster optimism, gratitude, achievement through the use of talents/strengths and purpose in life, for example.

Discussing the mental aspects, or psychology of retirement, doesn’t take place enough, because many people, including seasoned advisors, assume that retirement will be this happy, fun and engaging place that magically unfolds by itself. But, that’s simply not the case. A transition of this magnitude can be very challenging, and retirement doesn’t shelter people from the harsh realities of life. Therefore, people aren’t always mentally prepared for it and can get caught up in negative patterns that hold them back or limit their potential.

Therefore, advisors need to be prepared to come across more clients who are either struggling with their transition, or want help to thrive and flourish during it. They need new ammunition in terms of quality questions that can challenge clients or allow them to see it from a fresh perspective.  

The nice thing for advisors is that the benefits of Positive Psychology gives us more than just the opportunity to do this by helping clients step outside of the traditional retirement box and thrive. It also gives us a practical model for moving conversations from money to well being. Approaching retirement like this is how advisors will continue to differentiate their practices, while making themselves more referable.

The hard part is, the change is already well underway, meaning if an advisor doesn’t have proven ways to incorporate science and wellness into their retirement planning conversations, they’re falling behind the pack quickly. It’s one reason why I have begun offering specialized training on the concept of Positive Psychology and retirement coaching because in 2018 there will be a new trend. A movement where clients will be asking their advisor for help in planning for the non-financial aspects of retirement, and those who don’t have the skills, tools and process to facilitate it, will watch clients walk out the door.

It’s time to change the game and use the retirement planning process to shape and optimize the lives of our clients with more creativity, imagination and pattern-stopping questions. Are you on board? 

Robert Laura is the president of SYNERGOS Financial Group, the founder of RetirementProject.org and pioneer in Certified Retirement Coach training. He can be reached at [email protected].