I was near the end of a return flight home. The person next to me wasn’t much of a conversationalist, preferring to sleep with oversized headphones and a red-velvet neck pillow for most of the two-hour flight. So, I was looking forward to landing and reconnecting with the world.

When we finally hit the tarmac, I reached for my phone and turned it on. The next 30 seconds felt like an eternity as my phone read “Searching for connection.” I clinched my phone tightly as if that would make it work faster. Then, to my relief, it read, “Network found” and I was a connected person again.

This is something that most advisors and their clients have experienced but haven’t necessarily translated into their retirement thoughts and plans. Many clients have no idea how their connections and overall social network can change as they move to and through retirement.

Several years ago, I interviewed a retirement researcher who found that while people are working, they can have up to 22 high quality interactions each day—high-quality meaning face-to-face. However, once they retire, that number can get cut in half, down to 11, and be of lesser quality—suggesting contact is made through phone calls and emails. That’s a dramatic shift that can leave people feeling out of the loop and isolated in some cases.

In fact, one client I spoke with described it like, “Living in an emotional cave, where it is dark, silent and heartbreaking.” To make matters worse, it’s not something that a person is likely to bring up or say they are struggling with because retirement is supposed to be this wonderful time where everyone is happy and fulfilled, so many people suffer in silence because of stigmas associated with it.

That type of description doesn’t show up in many retirement commercials or brochures, yet it’s a reality we have to start talking about it in order to help clients avoid feeling disconnected in retirement. Unfortunately, this may not only be happening to some of your clients but your loved ones as well. Recent research supports the need to put more focus on the people they want in their life during retirement:

• 40% of Americans don’t feel close to others at any given time. And the number of lonely Americans has doubled since the 1980s.

• According to Canadian Association of Retired People,  16% of Canadians indicated that they lacked companionship.

• According to the American Association For the Advancement of Science, loneliness shortens our lifespan by twice as much as obesity.

To put it into context, think of your client’s social network like a warning light on their car dashboard. As they’re driving along towards retirement, the check-engine light comes on suggesting that there might be some trouble under the hood.

At this point, they have a decision to make. They can either stop and figure out what’s going on, or assume it’s nothing major and take care of it later. Of course, the problem is, right now the relationships they have with their spouse, family, friends and co-workers may only need to make a small fix. However, if they wait to address it, the burden could be much more expensive and time consuming.  

Putting it into more traditional financial terms, advisors can bridge this conversation with clients by using the concept of portfolio rebalancing. Just as we keep assets in target ranges and reduce risk by rebalancing at the end of each quarter, clients need to be mindful of their social portfolio and protecting it from getting out of balance and off target.

This could mean helping them allocate more time for date nights with a spouse as they get closer to retirement, allocating more time for family, as well as finding time and opportunities to develop relationships with important co-workers and colleagues outside of the workplace. 

One of the challenges with a topic like this is that many advisors don’t see themselves in this role or are unsure how to cross over to these topics. I have trained hundreds of advisors in areas like this and it’s not as hard as many people think. In fact, one of the easiest ways to accomplish this is to start sharing content like this in your monthly or quarterly newsletter or blog.

By starting with written content, clients, prospects and centers of influence can warm up to the idea and see you in a new and refreshing light. One that positions you as a thought leader and truly holistic planner that goes beyond the traditional dollars and cents. This is more important than ever as advisors look for ways to differentiate themselves and add value.

This is also where advisors can tap into science and research to add credibility. Right now, many clients have no idea that their social network is one of the most important pieces to helping them make a successful transition from work life to home life. However, thanks to landmark studies like the Harvard Study of Adult Development, advisors can confidently share that people who are more socially connected to family, friends and their community are happier, physically healthier and they live longer than people who are less well connected.

Similar research points out that strong relationships play a role in protecting brain function. Participants who reported feeling “securely attached,” meaning they could count on another person in times of need, had their memories stay sharper for longer, while those in an insecure situation, experienced earlier memory decline.

That’s powerful content that clients need to know about and can’t ignore. It’s interesting to me because advisors have no problem telling clients the importance of protecting their income, assets and family through various products and services. However, we don’t tell them to protect their relationships and well being by investing heavily in them on the way to retirement.

There’s something else I didn’t tell you at the beginning of the article. That person sitting next to me on the flight home was my wife. When we travel, she often prefers to sleep when she can, so she feels refreshed when we reach our destination. This is important because advisors need to help married clients, or those in a committed relationship, to not only look at their combined social network but also their individual ones as well.

There is both a need and opportunity to open up discussions about the amount of time a couple will spend together and apart. Some emphasis should also be put on making sure one spouse isn’t solely responsible for making plans. Couples need to know that its helpful to spend time together as well as apart and that they need their own network of family and friends in order to avoid overwhelming the other person.

Again, for some advisors this may not be a typical conversation, but once a client comes in and says they are taking the leap into retirement, you can congratulate the client on their decision and simply ask, “Have you guys talked about how much time you will spend together and apart yet?”

They may look at you like a deer in headlights, which will give you the opportunity to simply say that their social network is one of the most important components of a successful transition and that from experience you know that couples stay together and grow stronger when there is a plan, and an understanding that they need time together, apart and to have their own social network they can tap into. 

You don’t have to solve anything or jump into any martial therapy. Awareness in the first key step for people and then advisors can find, develop or license a variety of tools and resources to help couples take next steps.

Overall, financial professionals have a powerful opportunity to make a major impact in the way clients think about and prepare for retirement. By developing content that helps them plan for the more personal aspects of retirement, advisors can not only differentiate themselves in the crowded marketplace but also help clients thrive in this next phase of life.  It just takes a little rebalancing. 

Robert Laura is the president of Wealth & Wellness Group, the founder of RetirementProject.org and a pioneer in Certified Retirement Coach training. He can be reached at [email protected].