I would propose that it’s best to see you in your natural environment—at your desk, in front of the wall with your pictures and diplomas, or the bookcase with the things you never read. It creates context for you and allows for a better flow of information.

One of my pet peeves is people walking or driving on camera. Watching a vibrating picture can make you literally dizzy. Watching someone drive from under the dashboard is beyond frustrating. If you can’t be in a normal environment, just make it a phone call.

4. Stay focused. Speaking of eye contact, if you think that your partner can’t tell that you are reading your texts on your phone or reading the news while talking to you, they can.

I once attended a training session that had an exercise where you would try to speak for a minute while the other person was intentionally looking away. It is incredibly distracting and difficult to communicate when you perceive the lack of attention.

5. Be self-aware and maintain your standards. You have to remember that when people see you on a video, they are judging your appearance and behavior the same way they would if they are meeting you in an office or coffee shop. As a result, please consider the following tips.

• Wear non-embarrassing clothing. Perhaps the kind of clothing you would wear in the office.

• Don’t eat during video calls. Only do it if everyone else is.

• Check your appearance. Don’t look like a through-hiker on the Pacific Crest Trail. Barber shops have reopened.

• Remember, we can see all the other people around you. That means we can also see your interactions with them.

• I am embarrassed to sound like a finishing school instructor, but I wish I had not experienced all of those things just this week.

6. Remember, there’s nothing wrong with a phone call. Finally, but importantly, not every interaction has to be on video. In fact, there’s nothing wrong with phone calls. They have worked before and they still do. In fact, they have many advantages:

A phone call is much less invasive. Your partner can’t see you and you don’t have to worry about many of the problems I’ve written about. On the other hand, if your partner is on camera, you should be too. I think it is bad manners to schedule a video call and then hide yourself behind the black box.

Where a phone call can be a bit more relaxed, we are keenly aware of being watched during a video call. In fact, our face on the screen makes us even more self-aware. A phone call is less stressful that way.

For one reason or another, people say or do things online that they will never do in real life. The same seems to be true for virtual communications: We seem to focus on the virtual part and forget the communication. If we are to successfully function using virtual meetings, we need to perhaps brush up on all the old-fashioned rules of how we connect with one another.

Philip Palaveev is the CEO of the Ensemble Practice LLC. He’s an industry consultant, author of the books G2: Building the Next Generation and The Ensemble Practice and the lead faculty member for the G2 Institute.

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