Whether your parents were driving, or you were shuttling your own family on a road trip, we’ve all heard the age-old question, “Are we there yet?”

As an adult, we know the details and timing of a trip, but kids just can’t comprehend it. No matter if you give them a time frame for arrival or a visual like, “When you see a giant body of water…or miles of sand, then you will know we are there.”

But even with these cues, they still ask, which is interesting because they really aren’t asking. Instead they are making a statement about their current situation. They may be either bored, uncomfortable, annoyed by a sibling, tired of playing car bingo or watching movies.

And quite frankly, simply telling them how much longer it’s going to be, isn’t enough—no matter how many times you say it.

This phenomenon can also take place with clients as they approach retirement. They get this, “Are we there yet,” mentality about life after work. Similar to kids on a trip, they may not just be asking if they have enough saved but also expressing their fears and concerns about making the transition.

As you might expect, the more times a client asks or alters their retirement date, the more worried or anxious they may be about the transition. This is important because I don’t care which credentials you have, what planning software you use, or how fancy the binder is that you put all your charts and graphs in, the solution they need has nothing to do with money or traditional planning. 

This is important because this ability to see and identify situations like this is becoming more and more important for financial professionals. They need new skills and tools to recognize deeper, and more personal concerns associated with retirement.

Furthermore, it’s not enough to just recognize the situation. It needs to be addressed in multiple ways that go beyond the current face-to-face meeting where the issues come up. Because like kids in a car, you can’t just tell them they are going to be okay. They need something more than verbal reassurance.

Take a moment to think about a situation like this. What would you say to a client who keeps asking about the numbers and has changed their retirement date a couple times recently? Let’s add in that their spouse has voiced some frustration because they are supposed to be traveling and enjoying life right now.

A common advisor response might be to go over the numbers one more time and share something like, “I have had other client’s like you who have faced and overcome similar concerns. I know this because it’s what I used to do. In fact, it’s what we have all been trained to do. And don’t get me wrong, it can be helpful in that very moment. But what happens when the client leaves your office? How are you helping them deal with the doubts and fears that will creep back into their mind the next day, week or month ahead?

I refer to this opportunity as a collateral benefit. You have likely heard of collateral damage, which is unintended damage to something that wasn’t the primary target. Well advisors can provide intentional benefits by arming clients to deal with these things outside of the office. 

This can be done with a series of newsletters, blogs, a book, video series, online class, group workshop and more. When people are in transition, they need help and support. They need to be nudged, encouraged and reminded of the upside and not just focus on the downside. They need permission to think outside the box or to put old and outdated ideas behind them.

At the heart of the matter is the reality that the future of our profession isn’t in asset management, income protection or estate planning alone. It’s in the more human and personal elements like this. It’s doing things that help people on a day-to-day basis and not just on their month-end or quarter-end statement.

We can look at some additional ideas and solutions for clients in transition with interesting statistics. A recent poll of 2,000 Americans found that the average family will spend nearly 23 hours on road trips during the summer months. In that time, they will need to make 11 bathroom stops, eat 13 snacks and play 16 car games.  Not to mention, they will have to deal with 16 “Are we there yets,” 18 “How much longers” and 17 “I’m tireds.”

I think those statistics are important because they probably don’t come as a surprise to anyone who has taken a family road trip. Reality is, these are well known, or commonly applied concepts related to the situation. In fact, most parents can almost perfectly time when an “Are we there yet?” or bathroom request is coming based on past experience. 

Which is exactly where the problem comes in with retirement. There are not specific, well-known or easily recognizable earmarks that define when they are “there.” No big marquee, welcome center, or ocean that signifies they have arrived and it’s time to unpack. That nebulous nature of retirement can be one of the factors that holds people back from retirement.

Which means advisors have to be the ones providing those guideposts—the familiar stops along the way, list of things to see and do, where to stay, and what to look out for.

So, advisors can start by telling clients that being nervous or anxious about the transition is a good first sign. It suggests that they are thinking things through and not just assuming it will all magically work out.

But that alone can feel cliché, sort of like, “The first thing in recognizing you have a problem is admitting to it.” Which makes the next step of validating those concerns so important. Fact is, retirement is one of the top 10 most stressful events in life. Simply acknowledging that with a client provides credence to their feelings and enables them to see the benefits of developing a retirement plan that goes beyond just the numbers.

One easy way to engage clients on their non-financial topic is to provide a monthly blog or newsletter on the topic. Each month I send clients a newsletter that contains both a stock market summary as well as a more personal aspect of life in retirement. To be honest, people read and appreciate that portion of the newsletter more than my market recap and overview. I know this because a majority of my clients want to talk about those articles when they come in rather than portfolio performance. If you’re interested in seeing a sample newsletter, just let me know.

The benefit of the monthly articles is that I can provide guideposts for them along the way by hitting on topics that are important to them and their well being. For example, what to do when you’re bored in retirement, how to avoid the dark side of retirement, saying “no” to adult children, starting a retirement business, why part-time work doesn’t always work and the list goes on. In a nutshell, anything a client may be thinking or wondering about serves as an ideal topic.

In addition to this, I have a staple of books and articles I use as resources when clients come in. While some clients may not read the article or book right away, it’s the act of giving them a source, solution or tool that adds value, especially when they finally decide to go through it.    

Overall, what we have to realize as a financial professional is that we are one of the most trusted people in our client’s lives. They have given us almost everything they have worked for from a financial perspective and are not only interested in your opinion on that but also other aspects of life after work. Therefore, we have to be prepared with more than numbers or simple words when clients ask, “Can I retire yet?”

One thing I forgot to share about the travel survey I mentioned earlier, is that it found that 78% of those surveyed revealed they have very fond memories of family road trips over the years. As financial professionals, we should be seeking to hit similar or even higher numbers in helping clients have fond memories of their transition. 

Robert Laura is a best-selling author, nationally syndicated columnist, and president of Wealth & Wellness Group. He is a seasoned conference speaker, corporate trainer, and pioneer in “The New Era Of Retirement” which focuses on the non-financial aspects of life after work. He can be reached at [email protected].