Like most people, the holidays brought back to me a lot of old photos and memories. I am particularly fond of the Christmas seasons we spent with my mother’s parents.

I’m not sure my Grandfather would have ever stopped working for the Chicago Transit Authority (CTA) had he not been subject to mandatory retirement. He rose to several positions of responsibility revolving around safety. This put him in touch with dignitaries, politicians, celebrities and even some royalty. We have seen him in many old news photos with other CTA officials during challenging times for the CTA and the city. 

He was a Navy man that fought in the Pacific during the war. He would often tell us funny stories about those years and his buddies, but didn’t like to talk about much that was combat related.   

The most important job he did, however, was raising my mother and my uncle. Nothing seemed to matter more to Grandpa than family. That’s probably part of why he was married for over 60 years.  When asked about the key to a successful marriage, my grandmother quipped, “You have to let the fella think he is in charge.” Grandma helped keep him and the whole family grounded. No easy task since Grandpa was the most energetic man I’ve ever known.

When I was 19, he took a friend and me golfing and walked us into the ground. He kept taking us on shortcuts through the woods to replay holes. He was in his mid seventies at the time, but we must have played 50 holes that day. He was like that almost his whole life.

During his last few years, he was forced to give up his car, his home, his hobbies, his independence and his faculties. He kept his sense of humor and quickly became one of the most popular residents at the home he and Grandma moved into. Still, it was weird and unsettling to see anyone caring for him when he was always the one doing the caring. 

About eight years ago, Grandpa had an episode that brought the entire family to Chicago. We  sat together and my uncle explained to my Grandmother that her husband was not going to recover. I will never forget the look on her face as she realized it was the end. As the tears welled in her eyes, they poured from ours. The next day, we met for lunch and she asked what was keeping Grandpa. She had no recollection of the prior day’s conversation and we all relived the gut-wrenching event again. Money is worthless at a time like that.

If we are to be effective at helping clients age with dignity, I believe it is important to get to know their stories and their values as much as their finances. Many of my clients have led fascinating lives and many older clients still are.

More and more financial services firms are working to position themselves as the advisors of choice for the retiree. More is being written about planning techniques applicable to retirees and retirement income. Software continues to evolve to better address distribution of assets.

Some of the advertising is comical. Jagger may be able to pull it off, but most retirees are not going to spend their retirement reliving their youth playing in a rock band. I live in a community on the Atlantic Ocean full of lots of retirees and I assure you, the beach is not covered by fit, grey haired, laughing couples running hand in hand through the waves. 

Don’t get me wrong, for most, once they have truly made the transition, retirement really is a lot of fun. I love the message in that commercial that says retirement is the time you pay yourself to do what you want, but retirement is not one long vacation.

In fact, an increasing number of newer retirees are spending their time and money on things they did not have on their retirement to-do list. Suddenly, they are caring for their parents. Like most families in similar situations, my mother and her brother worried about money as their parents needed more care.  More often though, their concerns were about health and safety issues.   
 
Financial planning firms need solid software, knowledge of the latest in tax and estate planning, investment strategies and all the traditional subject matter, of course, but some of the most effective and meaningful planning I see is that which helps clients help their parents age with dignity.   

We were fortunate to have my uncle living in the Chicago area. He was able to find a place to move his parents that could give good care and was located just a few miles from his home. These days, with family spread around the country if not the world, the experience is more like that of my mother who lives near me down here in Florida. 

Fraud and exploitation of the elderly is epidemic in America. Mom was lucky to have a trusted insider on site. Sure, now and then they would disagree, but there was no one else on earth my mother could have more confidence in than her little brother and his wife, who happens to be a nurse. Most families don’t have that level of knowledge and resources so readily available to them.

Planners need to know and work well with health-care personnel, counselors and geriatric care managers. Developing skills as a screener of these providers is important.

There are three primary tasks necessary for families to tackle: assess the need, keep documents in order and visit often.  

To assess the need, a great resource with which to connect your clients comes from the growing field of geriatric care management. A geriatric care manager (GCM) can perform an assessment. They do not possess a crystal ball, but can realistically lay out where things are probably, or possibly, headed.   GCM’s can also be contracted to provide continuing monitoring services as a person ages, sometimes a great stress reliever when no reliable family is near by. 

Assessments from a professional geriatric-care manager are usually a only few hundred dollars. Ongoing work is usually in the $75 to $100 an hour range. At The National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers Web site www.caremanager.org,  you can get more information and search for a care manager by zip code and level of certification.

Planners can more directly help with important documents. In addition to the usual wills, trusts, living wills, durable powers of attorney and health-care proxies, families should also assemble the contact numbers for the doctors, lawyers, neighbors and others that interact or need to interact with the person needing care. Make sure that any and all privacy releases that may be needed are in order.

I am also generally a fan of empowering as many appropriate people as possible to see what is happening with the elderly person’s money. Involving several family members in the finances scares a lot of people because they fear disagreements will arise. Well, you can almost bank on that, but in my experience, it is worth it to let more people in on the plan and endure the arguments, second guessing and Monday morning quarterbacking that transparency brings in order to protect the elderly’s assets from fraud, exploitation and bad ideas.

Even if you employ a properly licensed and credentialed geriatric care manager, it is highly beneficial for the family to know the people who interact with their family member.  A professionally trained occasional visitor can give valuable insights, but friends and neighbors can provide more. So when clients visit their parents, encourage them to visit with their parents’ friends and neighbors a little, too.

The early days of one’s retirement are often the most active. This is the time many cross off some of the items on their “bucket list.” Increasingly though, retirees will find themselves traveling to visit aging family instead.

My mother usually didn’t feel she visited enough. Her parents’ condition was sometimes worse than she expected. My uncle would have a different perspective because he would see them regularly and change seemed more gradual. This difference highlighted the fact that my uncle was always there and my mom was not. Sometimes that made everyone feel lousy, even though it was accepted that that is how it had to be because no one could relocate. 

There are no spreadsheets or Monte Carlo simulations that can address these issues. Yet, financial planners can be extremely valuable. Firms that can help clients find the help the client’s family needs will be supporting their clients in a way that has far more meaning than a well-managed portfolio ever could.

Dan Moisand, CFP, has been featured as one of the America’s top independent financial advisors by Financial Planning, Financial Advisor, Investment Advisor, Investment News, Journal of Financial Planning, Accounting Today, Research, Wealth Manager, and Worth magazines.  He practices in Melbourne, Fla. You can reach him at [email protected]