It happens almost every single time. Whenever I go to a grocery store or home improvement retailer, I end up with a broken cart! I feel like I am a magnet, drawn to the worst set of wheels each time. As a result, I have tried to just ignore the situation and pretend like the banging, screeching or flopping under my cart isn’t there or is just part of the shopping journey.

Sometimes I try to test a couple of them before making my selection. However, within 10 to 20 feet of the store entrance, I am either white-knuckling my cart because it’s constantly pulling to one side or I’m leaning into it because one of the wheels isn’t rolling.

I know I am not alone. I bet many of you have similar experiences and feelings, but here’s the thing: It’s not us! We are not the problem. The reality is, the odds are stacked against us because most store carts are either broken or in need of repair.

Something similar is happening with traditional retirement planning. It’s broken, and many times advisors act as the squeaky wheel in the process. Think about this: Do you ever complain to a cashier, bagger or store manager about your messed-up cart? I think most people would say no.

Yet when you have a broken cart, you are less likely to wander around and add more things to it, and you end up reducing the amount of time and money you spend in the store. With a broken cart, a person’s mood can change quickly, and even though it’s not something they can control, their trip to the store takes the get-in-and-get-out approach.

Financial advisors who only talk about the dollars and cents of retirement can face a similar situation or mindset. Everything can look and feel like it is going great, but when the markets turn south or returns come in subpar, you can end up being a wobbly wheel. Clients may not complain directly to you, but during these times, they would prefer to spend less time and money with you—and that will result in reduced retention, referrals and profitability.

Research supports this notion; one study by AIG Life and Retirement and the MIT AgeLab found that an advisor’s ability to personally connect with a client was a crucial component to client satisfaction and retention. The study noted that 25% of respondents had ended an advisor relationship over this factor.

I find this statistic interesting because I feel that if you polled most advisors, they would say they have a strong personal connection with their clients. However, just because a client acts like they like you, laughs at your jokes, or tells you that everything is “going well,” it doesn’t mean you have a personal connection.

Those close connections are formed by emotional bonds and interactions over time. But I hate to tell you, helping clients figure out how much money they need to save for retirement or how long their money will last isn’t enough to form a close bond.

I can hear some of you saying, “Money is an emotionally charged topic, and by helping clients figure out their current financial situation, we are forming that bond.” Here’s the reality: The emotional issues with money never go away. You can’t fix, solve or eliminate them, and nobody I have ever worked with has said, “Please don’t make me more money.”

In fact, money is always wrapped up in some other situation the client is dealing with. So if your only emotional tie to a client is helping them with financial decisions, the relationship can deteriorate if things go wrong.

Take a retirement example. Think about people in the workplace, particularly men. Their strongest bonds tend to be in their workplace relationships. These are often formed over decades and can go through many ups and downs. But when they retire, those relationships disappear if there are no other bonds holding them to those co-workers.

This happens despite what many people think and oftentimes much quicker than anticipated. Now consider that, sadly, the primary bond many advisors have with their clients is the subject of money, because they haven’t invested time, energy or resources in helping the clients with other areas of life.

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