I remember the first time I saw an amazing card trick. I was in college and a teammate of mine pulled out a deck of cards after practice. After a few fancy shuffles, he took me through a series of card tricks that I couldn’t believe.

I was mesmerized by his ability to not only read my mind but to also make my card appear at the top or bottom of the deck. I had no idea how he performed them, so I begged and pleaded with him to share his secrets—and to my surprise, he did. 

Now, everybody knows that you’re not supposed to tell people how the card trick works, simply because it would cease to be magic. But my friend broke protocol in an effort to show me what was really going on and that what you see isn’t always what you get.   

As he began to explain the first trick, I couldn’t help but turn a little red from embarrassment. It was so basic and made me feel naive for not catching on. As I grabbed the cards to try it for myself, he cautioned me, “The trick isn’t just in the hand motions, but in how you present it.” I didn’t comprehend his words of warning at first, but later learned that there is a certain amount of showmanship in anything that you do including retirement planning. 

As a result, I not only continue to be fond of good card tricks but also many of retirement’s illusions, and like my card shuffling friend, I think it’s time to spill the beans. To give other advisors and clients a firsthand look at what’s going on behind the curtain and under the stage in an effort to better prepare clients for making the most of their time and energy during it. 

Just as I was fascinated by the sleight of hand and misdirection of the card tricks, much of mainstream media and even the financial services industry portray retirement as this magical time where clients walk in a sense of awe and marvel. Unfortunately, there’s more to it than meets the eye. Therefore, advisors need to be positioned to help clients who may be struggling with the realities of retirement and feel like they are stuck in a strait jacket, being sawed in half or that their magic has run out.

Strait Jacket

You’ve likely seen an old image of Harry Houdini wrapped in a strait jacket. I don’t know if you have ever been put in one, but they are extremely confining and almost impossible to get out of on your own (don’t ask how I know). 

Unfortunately, for some clients, the idea of retirement can feel like a strait jacket because they want to retire but can’t since there is someone or something forcing them to keep working. Situations like health insurance costs before age 65, supporting an aging parent or an adult child, or having an older spouse whose retirement benefits aren’t keeping up with their lifestyle costs.

There’s also another segment of this group who would rather work then be trapped at home with their spouse. These couples have plenty of money to retire, but one of them fears spending all day, every day with a significant other who watches too much TV, doesn’t have many friends and isn’t active or into travel or doing new things.

In either case, this is a tough one to handle. No one likes being stuck in a situation or forced to do something—especially when you are near retirement age and see family and friends doing the things you wish you could do.

So what advice can advisors provide to help clients? Encourage them to start small and focus on themselves. We all know you can’t change other people, but they can improve their own life. It’s very likely that such clients may not have a ton of time or energy, or feel like they deserve something better or different, but they do. Assure them that they got here, one decision, one situation at a time and that’s the same way to make positive changes. Reiterate that every great retirement journey begins with a single step and for them to commit to doing something positive for themselves today.

Cut In Half

Another well-known magic trick is the old “Saw a person in half,” routine. A magician places their beautiful assistant on a table and proceeds to cut them in half. Tragically, this idea of being torn in two is how some clients actually feel. Things may look good on the outside because they appear to have it all. A nice home, great career, fancy car, take exotic vacations, and even have a small horse farm, high-end sail boat or some other toy just to top it off. But deep down, they’re not happy and are struggling with almost everything on the inside. 

The problem is, they are sick of holding it together and after years of looking and acting a certain way, they just “want to be normal.” They don’t want the competition, the headaches, the next goal, the bigger or better something, they want simple things—love, time and to be accepted for who they are and want to be.

On the surface, it can be hard to feel bad for these people—I mean they have it all. And we’re trained to think that money can fix things or make things better. But it can’t, and these people have learned it firsthand. Frankly, it stings to learn things the hard way, no matter what the lesson is.

For clients in this situation, encourage them to jump ship for a day by serving others. Suggest they change their environment to one where there are no expectations and it’s not about them. Then, counsel them to assess how they felt throughout the day and to seek other opportunities until they find an outlet that can help them manifest the change.

Coin Behind Your Ear

Growing up, many people had a parent, uncle or family friend who could make a coin disappear, only to have it magically reappear from behind your ear. It was an amazing feat until you turned 6 or 7 and figured it out. From that point on, the trick lost its luster, despite the payday for cooperating with the gimmick. The reality is, the trick was old and you knew it wasn’t magic. Retirement can work this way as well. Clients can feel out of date and like they lost something that used to connect them to others. This feeling can range from how they carry themselves, dress, talk or even think. The kicker is when clients lose the motivation to do something about it. Occasionally they may want a spark back in their life, but they never seem to be able to get over the hump, to get back out there and see and do new things.  

In essence, they’ve become average, maybe even a little below average. They don’t have anything they’re really known for and haven’t had much of an impact on anyone or anything recently. At times, they long to be a part of something bigger, to help someone in some special way that they will always remember. However, with retirement on the horizon or already begun, they wonder if it’s too late, or not worth the extra effort.

The problem is, they’re in a rut and need some outside help. They need outside tools and resources to see things from a new or fresh perspective. Therefore, suggest they check the local paper for speakers or enrichment classes being made available at community resources like the library, church or school system. Be sure to warn them not to fall into common traps like cancelling because they don’t feel up to it. We have all wanted to cancel something but followed through and had the time of our life. Use that as a catalyst to propel them forward.

Let’s face it, retirement can be a little tricky to navigate. It may look amazing from the balcony of life and can even appear somewhat magical. However, behind every great trick is a little skill and showmanship. Thus, advisors need to take the time to provide clients with a backstage tour, sharing all of retirement’s secrets so they aren’t caught off guard and disappointed when they get there. After all, the real magic for clients in retirement is believing in themselves and using that to create the life they deserve.

Robert Laura is the president of SYNERGOS Financial Group, the founder of RetirementProject.org and the creator of the Retirement Wellness Marketing Program for Advisors. He can be reached at [email protected].