Socrates’ claim that the unexamined life is not worth living makes a satisfying climax for the deeply principled arguments he presents on behalf of the philosophical life. The claim is that only in striving to come to know ourselves and to understand ourselves do our lives have any meaning or value. (Source: The Apology Summary by Plato Socrates 399 BC)

Maybe a little harsh, but what a truth. Having the insight to understand what makes us who we are; why we respond the way we do; what excites us and drives our passion; and what challenges us and produces negative thoughts. Surely, this self-awareness is the basis for doing life well and having success.

We’ve Got The Insights

Nothing is more frustrating in any relationship than trying to determine what is real and what is fake. One of the most rewarding aspects of working with my colleagues is that I know them. Not just who they are — but their inherent personality and behavior. More importantly, they know me.

Why is this good to know? I work on the other side of the world and most of my connections with my colleagues is via social media and A/V conferencing software apps. If I didn’t know their behavioral style, I’m not sure we’d work well together.

We’re an interesting bunch made up of the quiet, the analytical, the relational, the charismatic, the creative, the young, the older and we’re led by a strategic entrepreneur. Sounds like a recipe for disaster! But because of what we do and how passionately we believe in what we do, we work together as smoothly as a Swiss watch. Why?

Because as individuals we invested time into discovering what makes us tick. We then took steps to understand how to manage and use this information to do life more effectively. Then, and this is the big step, we discovered as individuals how to interact with others whose behavior is diametrically opposite our own. Tricky, but doable.

A Personal Example

I’m a conversationalist and a debater, intensely aware of other people and yet reserved. Through self-examination, I know when to shut up. I see the signs of colleagues or clients glazing over if I’m saying too much. I know my subject and am passionate about it. Understanding behaviors has been my career but I needed to understand that self-awareness is not something others necessarily subscribe to. Many believe they are what they do. In other words, their sense of self is strongly linked to their career. Big mistake. The mistake is even bigger if they link their sense of self and success to money.

Self-awareness is important because when we have a better understanding of ourselves, we understand our uniqueness and individualism. This empowers us to make changes and build on our strengths and manage our limitations. Further, when careers or lives change, we don’t.

How About You?

Do you have personality clashes at work or at home? How well do you know yourself and them? Are there relationships that confuse you and take you off track? What about managing the behaviors of those around you who challenge you. How do you react to them?

One take-away, I found, from self-awareness, is that it opens your eyes and mind to the behaviors you see in others. It gives insight into how to manage those differences from your perspective. I know in my life this self-knowledge has helped me navigate some complicated relationships. I don’t always get it right, but even with hindsight, I know where I went wrong and what I could have managed better.

Knowing who you are and why you say, do and react in the way that you do will help you in some very important ways. I know I can now read a situation either with a colleague, friend or client much quicker than before I had this self-knowledge.

In the key relationships, I ask the other party(s) to complete the same discovery as I have done. I’ve never had a no. This makes for very interesting conversations around the mask we wear to hide who we really are from each other, or the issues we face that concern and cause a reaction from us. More importantly, the mutual insight sets the relationships up to be far more genuine and transparent and this, above all else, leads to trust.

Back To My Story

I am who I am. Since early childhood I’ve been reserved, passionate about injustice, fearful of aggressive behavior, sceptical, spontaneous and risk averse. But knowing these inherent behaviors has given me an insight not only into who I am but more importantly into the behaviors of others that can keep me on course and also take me off course.

I know how to manage me. I know where my confidence comes from. I know that self-knowledge has opened many doors of discovery for me, not just about me, but also those I work with, family and friends.

As financial advisors, your confidence to build long lasting relationships with your team and clients and meet their individual needs will go up dramatically the more that you know who you are and thereby believe in yourself. Having this knowledge will help you choose the right clients which is what successful advisors do and also increase your referrals. Ultimately, it will help you increase revenue and improve productivity. You may even find yourself adapting your role to becoming a “behavioral coach,” which after all is what you are doing when successfully serving people.

Carol Pocklington is chief insights accelerator at DNA Behavior, with offices in Atlanta, Ga. DNA Behavior International is a human performance acceleration business which uses a proprietary “behavior tech” platform to help advisors know, engage and grow all their employees and clients to deliver customized experiences.