• Certainly, a big part of managing a relationship is determining what requests to tackle and in what order. Some client requests may be urgent. Others can go on the back burner. A good relationship manager will be able to make that determination.

• A good relationship manager will see opportunities to build on the relationship and bring new insights to the client. You should be able to anticipate clients’ needs, see the chances to deepen the connection and offer services they weren’t thinking of.

• You must know the relationship will change. That might even mean changing what you charge a client. Many times, your relationship has to be revisited because you have come to understand the client better. The relationship manager should be able to communicate those changes and convince the client they are reasonable.

• You also have to know when the relationship should end. Good relationship managers know when it’s no longer viable or sustainable and can terminate it in the right manner.

Managing The ‘Delight Levels’

One of the most difficult things to do is find ways to continue “delighting” the client. When your work exceeds clients’ expectations, they rave about you (there’s research to that effect in books such as Raving Fans by Kenneth Blanchard and Sheldon Bowles, who say clients getting service above and beyond what they expect turn into fans and vocal supporters of your firm. Such people are also much more likely to become bonded to you.

But unfortunately, as every married person would attest, it is very difficult to surprise your spouse with a birthday gift after 20 years together. (Unless you give her a pair of cowboy boots.)

Still, even in long-term relationships, you shouldn’t forget how to surprise your partner. The marriage otherwise goes stale or worsens. Familiarity breeds contempt.

Difficult as it may be, it’s the job of the relationship manager to find those opportunities to surprise and thrill. Researchers John Crotts and Vincent Magnini published a paper in 2011 using TripAdvisor data of tourist destinations and found that 94% of the guests in hotel or resort properties who were “positively surprised” were likely to recommend the property to others. In contrast, of those who received “excellent service” but were not “positively surprised,” only 76% recommended the resort to others. Only 36% of those who were merely “satisfied” told others about their experience.

Changing the Deal