If you have children, you’ve likely had to negotiate between them when they want different things.

I have three kids, and there are times when I want to take my family to dinner, but every one of them wants something different.

We end up in a stalemate, and sooner or later I must make a choice – and none of them end up getting what they wanted.

Advisors can find themselves in a much more serious stalemate than this if they are partial owners in their RIA firm with another advisor.

While we read about all the successful M&A deals in the trade publications, what we don’t see are the times when one advisor wants to sell, and the other partner doesn’t.

In this article, I’ll cover the ground rules you should live by if you’re a partial owner in a firm so you can avoid finding yourself in a stalemate that leads to no one getting what they want from a sale.

The Best Time to Talk About Selling Your Firm
Much like the old saying that “The best time to plant a tree is ten years ago” the best time for firm partners to talk about when they want to sell, what they want to sell for, and who they might want to sell to is before they ever sign a legal contract to become business partners in the first place.

Depending on the equity each partner owns, this may not always be an issue. For example, if one has controlling interest with over fifty percent stake, then they obviously get to have the final word.

However, if you’re 50/50 partners then understanding all the finer nuances of what a sale could mean for your life and professional career is absolutely a must before your RIA firm gets off the ground.

Assuming you didn’t map out all the contingencies, though, you can still have a meeting of the minds to work together and establish ground rules for how each partner could sell their part of the firm – or the firm entirely – to make sure everyone is happy with the results.

Ground Rules for Selling Your Stake
All acquisitions start with a simple conversation, and you or your partner may even be caught completely off guard by an offer. You might find yourself on the golf course one Sunday afternoon where you share your revenue and valuation numbers with another RIA owner, and you excite them enough to make you an offer.

Now, you have a decision to make. Do you take it? What if you want to take it and your partner doesn’t?

That’s where the ground rules come into play. As soon as one partner is motivated enough to consider selling their equity in your firm, you can’t delay any further. The conversation between partners (and even your board if you have one) needs to take place immediately.

These are the ground rules I would recommend you start with.

No. 1 - Set a “Can’t Say No” Amount
Everyone has a number, right? While that offer you can’t refuse might be different for each partner, it’s possible to come to a middle ground of agreement.

Talk about what kind of offer might be acceptable to you both. If you then receive an offer above that amount, it’s agreed that you’ll both sign off on it, even if one of the partners isn’t officially yet ready to sell.

By coming to this agreement early on, and before you’re in a live situation, you can defuse much of the emotions involved in an acquisition because you’ve already made the decision.

No. 2 - Choose a Tiebreaker
When no partner has a majority, you must agree to a tiebreaker to help you settle the score if an acquisition offer does come to you and you can’t come to an agreement.

If your firm is large enough to have a board of directors, their voices should play a role in your decision, and you can lean on one of your board members to give you both clarity and objective advice on what to do. If you still can’t decide, they can act as that tiebreaker vote too.

You can also bring in a professional attorney or mediator as a neutral third party, with whom no one has a prior relationship. While this can make the event feel like a separation or divorce, it doesn’t have to be a bad scenario.

A professional can help you engage in conversations about what you each want, and help you identify those wants if you don’t already know them.

No. 3 - Agree on Exit for an Older Partner
The final ground rule I’ll offer is for firms where one partner may be older and more ready to retire than the other partner. And while the average age for RIA owners has gone down to under 50 years old on average, it’s not an uncommon situation for an older advisor to bring in a younger advisor as part of their retirement plan.

Selling may not be what these partners need to talk about; instead, they may need to decide and set steps for the older partner to retire.

It’s not a dissimilar process to coming to an agreement for selling, but it presents its own set of challenges that can be tackled much more easily when covered upfront and before the retirement date is imminent.

Know Your Motivation
Knowing when or when to not sell your firm is all about understanding the motivation behind the action. If you weren’t previously thinking of selling, but now you have sudden interest, take time to analyze your emotions and be open to deep conversations with your business partner.

One last tip: When considering a sale, go to the market and see what interest there might be in your firm instead of looking at only one offer. Each organization is different and made up of different people. The last thing you want is to end up getting in bed with an organization that offers a bad culture fit.

Selling your firm can be a thrilling experience, or it can be one of the worst decisions of your life. The difference is in your ability to have hard conversations, and plan ahead of time to knock out some of the more difficult decisions before they come knocking at your door.

Ryan Shanks is CEO of FA Match