Having an affair isn’t the only way to ruin your relationship. More than half of Americans think that financially cheating on a partner is just as bad or even worse than the physical act, according to a new survey.
Such transgressions involve keeping financial accounts and behaviors a secret from a better half. This includes spending more than a partner would be comfortable with, holding secret debts, using an undisclosed credit card and having a hidden checking or savings account.
Nearly a third of Americans who are married, in a civil partnership, or living with a partner admitted to committing some form of financial infidelity, according to the survey by YouGov Plc for CreditCards.com.
While harsh perceptions around financial infidelity have largely remained the same during the pandemic, the survey does suggest that American couples have become more honest about their finances. With people spending more time at home with their partners than ever before, only 32% of respondents admitted to financial cheating at present, compared with 44% in 2020.
“All of that togetherness, plus fewer temptations to go out and spend money has probably cut down on financial secret-keeping,” said Ted Rossman, a senior industry analyst from CreditCards.com. “Sometimes financial cheating goes hand-in-hand with physical cheating, too.”
Although money is often a major source of stress in a relationship — and one of the leading causes of divorce — it’s also a topic that many couples try to avoid. Some 31% of adults who admitted to cheating financially said it happened because their finances simply never came up or that they never felt the need to share. A full 30% said they did so in order to maintain some privacy from their partner. And 25% said that they kept their finances a secret because they were embarrassed about the way they handle their money.
The survey also found that financial deception is more prevalent among younger couples. Some 61% of Gen Zers and 48% of millennials in committed relationships said they were guilty of financial infidelity. Meanwhile, only 28% of Gen Xers and 19% of Baby Boomers said they kept financial secrets from their significant other.
Rossman thinks the reluctance of Gen Z and millennial couples to share details about their finances might be attributed to the fact that many are still in the earlier stages of their relationships. However, he believes their higher rates of financial secrecy are indicative of a larger trend: Nearly a third of all respondents who financially cheated did so out of “a desire to control [their] finances.”
This desire, he noted, may come from the fact that many Gen Zers and millennials live in two-income households. They are also are more likely to be children of divorce.