Zeeb says that while it may take an enticement to get heirs to attend the first family meeting-telling them their inheritance will be discussed-they won't keep coming, or learn anything from the process, if they are not willing participants. So Heritage staff tries to gauge the interests of the younger generations-children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews-to find out their interests and what they hope to learn.
"We see a lot of instances where the children walk into the room, their arms crossed, legs crossed; they sit leaning back in their chairs," Zeeb says. "We have to spend time with the kids, see what is it they want out of the process."
Holding regular meetings, at least once a year, is often crucial to creating and keeping a sense of family unity. These meetings should be fun, provide family members with opportunities to grow and conduct family business. Heritage staff guides a family through the process the first time, conducting initial interviews, preparing the family history, conducting the first few meetings. Then the family members themselves need to continue to meet to keep communicating if the family will be successful at staying together and keeping its wealth in tact. Zeeb says it takes as many as five years before the process becomes ingrained.
The meetings should be conducted with adult-to-adult communication, which can be difficult both for adult children, when speaking to their parents, and for the parents, when addressing their adult children. Sometimes neither wants to relinquish the traditional roles of parent and child.
Like maintaining a successful business, keeping a thriving family together takes a lot of work, Zeeb says. But it is also well worth the effort.
Zeeb practices what he preaches and has passed down his planning wisdom and business to his son Ryan, who is now the president of The Heritage Institute. Both father and son continue to work with a limited number of families directly on the process. They also teach professionals across the country how to implement the program. Most of their clients are in their 60s and 70s, with children in their 30s and 40s.
One of these families is Don and Maureen Roth of Fort Wayne, Ind. The Roths have no children of their own, but decided for their 50th anniversary to start the Heritage Process with their extended families, including 17 nieces and nephews plus their spouses, to help prepare them for their inheritances and roles in the family business, Sauder Woodworking Co.
Now celebrating its 75th year of business, Sauder is currently under third-generation family ownership. Don Roth had read Beating the Midas Curse and the statement that wealth rarely survives three generations had stuck with him. He says he was pleasantly surprised at the initial results of the first meeting, particularly the way the younger generation viewed the process.
"Number one, they wanted to hear our story," Roth says. "Number two, they wanted to know our values ... They said, 'Thanks for talking to us.'"
A highlight of the anniversary reunion was a talk by Myrl Sauder, who is the son of founder Erie Sauder and worked in engineering research and development in the company. Myrl Sauder told the story of the company's birth and growth into one of the nation's largest furniture manufacturers. And, according to Roth, what could prove critical to the future strength of the company is that Sauder's talk provided more than family history.