Coach Reveals Five Secrets To Dealing With Clients From Hell

You cringe when you see the client’s number appear on your phone. The retirement portfolio you built for him is doing really well, but you know he is going to harp on that one investment that is lagging the S&P. Every time you’ve explained asset allocation to him, he seems to understand. But as soon as one investment underperforms, he questions your judgment in an accusatory tone. All you’re trying to do is the best job possible for this client; how can he not recognize that?

A difficult client such as this one can be frustrating and may lead to an advisor “firing” him or the client taking his business elsewhere. But before those relationships deteriorate beyond repair, advisors who learn five secrets of human behavior may be able to turn those unpleasant encounters into more satisfying ones, said Beverly D. Flaxington, co-founder of the Collaborative, a coaching and business development service for financial services firms. She spoke to advisors Wednesday during a session at TD Ameritrade Institutional’s national conference, LINC 2018, in Orlando.

“Underneath all of it … is to understand what is going on with these clients, and what strategies you can use to shift their behavior,” Flaxington said.

People react emotionally 98 percent of the time to situations and rationally only 2 percent of the time, she noted, and those emotional reactions are heavily influenced by a person’s background and experiences.

Secret No. 1: It’s all about me and my filters.
“The way a person views the world is influenced by whatever our background is,” Flaxington said. Our response to a person saying something that doesn’t correlate with our view is to try to alter their filters, the way they look at the world, and that usually doesn’t work, she added.

“What’s underneath negative behavior every single time is some sort of fear,” she said, so trying to change that emotional reaction with a rational argument won't work.

Advisors have to train themselves not to react, but instead to be active listeners. While it sounds easy, being an active listener takes work, she said. Advisors have to hold back from reactive responses and ask questions that lead to an understanding of the fear or concern that's driving the client's behavior.