All that being said, there are legitimate reasons for retirees to consider divorce—if the marriages involve emotional or physical abuse, for instance, in which case the personal and financial trade-offs may be necessary. However, in situations where couples have put their relationship on the back burner for the sake of their careers or kids, when they are dealing with infidelity, or when they just find themselves in different seasons of life, it may be worthwhile to seek resolution and forgiveness and then rebuild together.
Is It OK To Leave More Money To One Child Than Another?
This question comes up more often than people outside the profession realize. Everyone assumes the best way to divvy up assets is to do it evenly. Many times, this can be a great approach. But it’s not always ideal.
Often, families with more than one child have one or two doing well while the other kids are only getting by or failing to launch. It’s even more complicated in blended families or those with special needs children. When the money distributions are disorganized or unplanned, in any amount, they can quickly and dramatically alter family relationships for decades or even lifetimes.
So it’s not only important to have the right planning and documentation in place, but also the right discussions. Advisors must encourage their clients to sit their family members down and discuss why and how the wealth holders are distributing their assets. That goes a long way toward keeping families together and on the same page. It also alleviates the risk that one sibling or some other family member will be portrayed as a villain when in fact he or she is just a messenger.
The reality is that there is no single best way to distribute assets, and trying to please everyone can be a daunting task.
Do I Have To Name My Spouse As My Primary Beneficiary?
I have to admit, the first time I was asked this by a client, I was totally caught off guard. It’s so common to name a spouse that no one thinks of alternatives. But the question is now asked more often because of blended families, age differences and simple tax issues.
As many of you know, account holders who don’t want to name their spouses primary beneficiaries must get the spouses to sign forms acknowledging it. You have to encourage clients to have an open dialogue about it, the same way they would if they were giving more money to one child, because good beneficiary planning is a crucial step in overall retirement planning. It should stem from what’s important to the client, not just from common or generally accepted practices.
While these are just a handful of the more difficult or challenging questions that can come up in the retirement planning process, it’s more important than ever for clients to not only have a process for addressing them but also the experience in handling them. That’s one reason it’s important to point out to clients that, no matter what their questions or concerns may be, you’re open to both personal and financial discussions in order to help them address and deal with all aspects of their life after work.
The quality of our clients’ lives can be improved by the quality of the questions we ask. For financial professionals who want to help clients live a truly meaningful retirement, that means developing the skills and resources to address questions from every side of retirement, not just the dollars and cents.
Robert Laura is a best-selling author, nationally syndicated columnist and president of Wealth & Wellness Group. He is a seasoned conference speaker, corporate trainer and pioneer in “The New Era Of Retirement” which focuses on the non-financial aspects of life after work. He can be reached at [email protected].