Developing a long-term strategy for the family home is another emotional issue that may benefit from a family discussion. While oftentimes the family home is sold after the surviving parent dies, there are many reasons why a parent may prefer a different arrangement. Perhaps a child provided care that kept the parent out of a nursing home. Or maybe one child is not financially secure and needs a larger share of the estate. Whenever there is a departure from equal shares, it works best when the parents explain their choice so there is no resentment between siblings.
Articulating the rationale for choices can preserve sibling relationships after the parents are gone. The same holds true when setting expectations with children and spouse alike in the case of second marriages. Indeed, some families have made these family conversations part of their holiday tradition, thus helping to preserve family harmony in the future.
Kristin Shirahama is a partner and trusts and estates lawyer at the Massachusetts law firm of Bowditch & Dewey. Her practice focus includes advising individuals and families with gift and estate planning issues, as well as trustees, guardians and other fiduciaries regarding trust administration. She often serves as trustee and executor or personal representative.