“She’s done a great job with helping clients understand transparency of assets,” said Zmistowski.
Boomerang Children
With more than one-third of adult millennials still living in their parent’s home, caring for an adult child has become a major retirement expense that few are planning for.
The root cause of the boomerang child phenomenon is a parent’s difficulty seeing negative aspects of their childrens’ behaviors—parents tend to think their children are adorable and good, said Ell.
“When you know they are taking too much of their income in supporting the hipster lifestyle of their 25-year-old son in Brooklyn, it’s still difficult,” said Ell. “They see that little baby boy that they raised. They still see a child and they want to take care of them.”
Ell says that a familiar metaphor to air travelers—the oxygen mask—can help parents realize that they need to take care of themselves first.
“One thing we say to folks is think about it like you do when you get on an airplane. If the oxygen mask falls down, put it on yourself first before you help your child,” said Ell. “If you don’t take care of yourself, then you are going to be dependent on that 25 year old in the future, and that might not be such a good scenario.”
More than one-third of families with children between the age of 18 and 34 have children who still live at home, said Sullivan, who also notes that his 29-year-old daughter has returned home as she transitions out of a relationship.
“With my kids, I had a thing called the exit interview, where the central point was that it’s time for you to leave and move on,” said Sullivan. “My whole point is that kids don’t come home. You graduate and you figure it out.”
Feuding Children