The New Year’s Eve phone call set into motion hard conversations within my family. I was grateful for the heads up, and I was grateful that the advisor took additional steps that culminated in forwarding my concerns to adult protective services. Sadly, this was not my mother’s first experience with APS. One point was excruciatingly clear: Although cognitively intact, Mom was emotionally powerless to stop her victimization, a common element of financial crimes. Undue influence is invisible without a pattern of wrongs. The open and trusting relationship created between the financial advisor, my mother, and me helped make the invisible undeniable.
Financial advisors are often the first persons to notice if something is off with a client’s affairs. They know when changes are made to permissions, POAs, or account registrations. Such changes can be tools of a predator and often go unquestioned. A sudden drop in account balances may also signal trouble. Advisors balance maintaining privacy with proactively protecting the client’s best interests. Yet, the delicate line of a “private family matter” must be heeded too. As my mother aged, the longstanding relationship he and his team forged with me as a trusted family member may not be written in any rulebook, but should be among a “best practices” list.
What did the advisor do right?
• He verified my roles and permissions on legal documents and ensured I could speak with him freely concerning my mother’s financial matters.
• He appropriately engaged with other members of my mother’s legal and tax team when asked or when requested through Mom or me.
• He observed my interactions and relationship with my family and my mother’s team and assessed my veracity.
• He spoke with my mother privately, verifying communications he and I had. This built his trust in me knowing I supported my mother’s in decision-making and didn’t advocate replacing her.
• He knew that the “trigger” event of incapacitation needed to be proven for me to override decisions and actions.
• He let his assistant know to be aware of potential issues.
Without a context for her actions, another data-point of financial exploitation would have gone unrecognized. Developing a relationship with me gave him a deeper understanding of his client’s motivations, maintained the advisor’s integrity, strengthened the relationship, and helped his client and his client’s family in immeasurable ways.
Connie Johnson Hambley is an award-winning author and speaker living in the Boston area. Her work has appeared in Bloomberg BusinessWeek, Nature, and more. Information on her fiction and non-fiction work can be found at www.conniejohnsonhambley.com. June 15 is World Elder Abuse Awareness Day.